Love Triangle
by svgirl
Summary: Jessica is torn between her steady boyfriend and an old love who returns. Elizabeth returns home to make peace with her sister and to find a home in Sweet Valley. Part 4 in my series. COMPLETED!
1. Elizabeth?

Author's Note: This is a sequel to Girlfriend, Selfish, and Out of My Mind  
that takes place in the Future! 

"Final boarding for Los Angeles," a voice blared over the loudspeaker.   
Elizabeth gathered her coat and bag and walked slowly towards the   
terminal. The funny feeling in her stomach was almost enough to make her   
sick, but Elizabeth knew what she had to do. She had put it off for four   
years, but now it was time. As she found her seat and sat down she   
closed her eyes, prepared to take a rest. But she kept hearing voices in her   
head.  
_"No you don't." Jessica said coldly. "You're always pushing me away."  
"Maybe I do. But you just can't accept the fact that I'm a stronger   
person then you are." Elizabeth said realizing for the first time how   
different she and Jessica truly were. Beyond compromise.  
"It's hard sometimes, yes." Jessica agreed thinking about her bad   
grades and how her parents had always been so proud of Liz. "But that's not   
it-"  
"Then what? I've given you everything Jess, my clothes, my friends, my   
soul, my life."  
"You say that but I don't feel it," Jessica said angry.  
"Well who's fault is that Jess? I've done everything I can, this is who   
I am."  
"I know," Jessica said softly. "I just want things to be like they used   
to be."  
Elizabeth was quiet for a moment and then looked Jessica in the eye.   
All the anger was gone and Jessica stared hopefully back. Finally   
Elizabeth said, "I don't think this is working out Jess. This is beyond   
fixing. I have something I wanted to tell you. I'm going to Stanford in the   
fall. We need the space. I need the space. I'm sorry Jess." _  
Elizabeth's eyes flew open. Maybe sleeping wasn't such a good idea.   
But still the voices in her head mocked at her.  
_"Jess-" Elizabeth started slowly.  
"Yeah, whatever Liz. Bye." Jessica said coldly.  
"I just wanted to say that, I'll miss you."  
"Well, I just wanted to say that we'll be the only people who won't   
miss you."_  
Elizabeth leaned back in her seat. She was doing the right thing. She   
must be or she wouldn't be this nervous.  
  
It felt so weird to be back home. Elizabeth stared at the piece of   
paper. 17 Tortugus Lane. She was almost there. She hadn't been to   
California since she left for college four years ago. Now that she had graduated   
she felt it was time to return home. To California. To Jessica. Jessica   
was the reason that she hadn't come back. She and her sister had gotten   
into a huge fight the summer before their freshman year in college. It   
had ended with Elizabeth leaving to go to Harvard University in Boston.   
But Elizabeth was ready to see her sister again. She had learned from   
Steven that Jessica had been living in Los Angeles as an actress.   
Elizabeth stopped in front of a small attractive yellow cape cod. She   
hoped Jessica would be home and that she wanted to see her. They hadn't   
so much as written or called in four years. She walked up to the door   
and rang the bell. After a minute the door was opened and a tall guy   
with shaggy blond hair stood in the doorway.  
"Hey Baby," he said smiling and leaned down and gave her a long kiss.  
"Wow," she said breathless. "Do you greet all the girls that way?"  
"Just my cute little bunny," he said smiling.  
"Hate to disappoint but I'm not you're 'cute little bunny'."  
"Jessica?" he asked confused.  
"Elizabeth," she corrected.  
"Who?"  
"Can I come in? It's kind of a long story."  
"Sure," Elizabeth noticed that he looked flustered. She stepped inside   
the attractively furnished house. "It looks nice, Jessica's done really   
well for herself." She turned to him. "Look closely you'll notice some   
differences."  
He looked at her. "Jessica's tanner. And her hair is shorter."  
"Now tell me who you are," Elizabeth said.  
"I'm Ryan. Now what the heck is going on? Who the hell are you and why   
do you look like Jessica?"  
Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak when she noticed that Jessica was   
entering from the back.  
"Ryan, baby-" Jessica started to say when she saw her. "Elizabeth?" she   
said incredulously. Ryan whipped around and started at the two girls.  
Jessica walked slowly into the hallway, the shock being replaced by   
anger. "What are you doing here? What the hell are you doing here?"  
"I-"  
"I thought I told you I never wanted to see you again!" Jessica said   
interrupting.  
"Well-" Elizabeth tried again.  
"Get out." Elizabeth looked at her sister's face and saw that she was   
not joking. Her normally pretty features had been replaced by a face of   
stone. And Ryan's confusion had been replaced by a deep sense of   
protectiveness for her sister.  
"I'll just go," Elizabeth said stunned and reached for the door.  
Ryan turned to Jessica as Elizabeth stumbled out. "I think we have to   
talk."  
Jessica turned and looked at him. Her features looked tired. "Yeah, we   
do." 


	2. Stronger and Confident

Jessica stared at her boyfriend, Ryan's face trying to figure out what   
he was thinking. She had hoped that Ryan would have found out a   
different way. Finally she said, "Ryan, I can explain."  
"What? That's there's some weird clone of you walking around? Or that   
you just didn't tell me something. I'm thinking it's the second."  
Jessica took a deep breath. Okay. He was mad. She could understand why.   
It's not everyday your estranged twin sister shows up on your front   
step. Jessica felt horrible for not telling him sooner. The thing was she   
really cared for Ryan Johnson.  
They had met during their junior year at college. Jessica had just   
gotten a new job as a waitress at the local pizza parlor. On her second day   
at work, some little kid had tripped her and she went flying. The problem   
was she was also carrying a pitcher of coke. Ryan had helped her clean   
up the mess and it turned out he had been working there for a while.   
They went out for coffee and one thing had led to another. She had even   
broken up with her boyfriend so she could be with him. Once they had   
graduated she had moved to LA to try to become an actress and he came with   
her and had gotten a job as a writer for a magazine.  
Even though they had just graduated, Jessica was hoping that Ryan would   
propose to her soon. She was anxious for him to move in and to start a   
family.  
But now having Elizabeth back changed things. Jessica hadn't heard from   
her sister during college. Her parents had told her what Elizabeth had   
been up to, but Jessica hadn't really cared. Jessica loved the freedom   
that college allowed her and it also helped not having a super   
responsible sister telling her what to do. Together with Lila, Jessica had   
joined a sorority even becoming the president her senior year. She had also   
moved from boyfriend to boyfriend until she had met Ryan. There was   
Michael McAllery who she had been married to for a short time, Nick Fox   
the cop who had stolen her heart, and even Todd Wilkins, her sister's   
e-boyfriend. They had hooked up for one night. If Elizabeth ever found out   
she would probably hop on the first plane out of here, Jessica thought   
wryly.  
But everything had changed when Ryan came into her life. Suddenly she   
found herself more than willing to make a commitment to a guy.  
"Elizabeth," she said slowly. "Is my twin sister."  
"No kidding," he said rolling his eyes. "I just want to know why you   
didn't tell me. This is big Jessica. This isn't like you telling me that   
you failed a math test in seventh grade."  
"I know. It's just that Elizabeth hasn't been part of my life in so   
long, that I don't even consider her a part of my life anymore."  
"But you didn't even mention her, Jess. I asked you who your siblings   
were and you didn't even mention her."  
"I didn't think she was going to come back. We had a huge fight before   
I left for college and I haven't heard from her in four years."  
"Why? She's your sister, isn't she?"  
"That's what made it so hard, Ryan," Jessica said softly. "We shared   
everything since we were little. She was my best friend. But we got into   
this huge fight when I told a lie about her and then ruined her   
relationship with her boyfriend. We had this huge fight before she left and we   
said some horrible things to each other. When she left it felt like   
part of me was being ripped from my body. It took a long time before I was   
able to go one day without thinking about her."  
"But couldn't you guys have made up?" Ryan asked looking at her.  
"It was beyond that," Jessica said firmly. "Even though I was   
miserable, Elizabeth's leaving also made me stronger and more confident about   
who I am."  
"You still should have told me," he grumbled sinking into an armchair.  
Jessica smiled softly. "You're right. I should have. But my whole life   
it's been 'Liz this' and 'Liz that'. I just wanted you to like me for   
Jessica Wakefield only."  
"Jess, I would have liked you anyway. You're not your sister. You're   
Jessica."  
She smiled and sat down on his lap, "Still love me?" she said kissing   
his face.  
Ryan looked at her carefully, "Yes, but I have to go, think about some   
things."  
Jessica stood up confused, "Why?"  
"Because it's a lot of information to process. And plus how do I know   
you're not keeping anything else from me?"  
"Don't you trust me?" she said angrily.  
"Chill, Jess. I was just joking. Really, I'm not mad at you. Listen,   
I'll see you tomorrow."  
Jessica nodded.  
"Also, Jess? Do yourself a favor, talk to your sister." Ryan turned and   
walked out the door, leaving Jessica standing there.  
  
Elizabeth walked out of the bathroom toweling her hair. She sat down on   
her bed and stared up at the ceiling. The hotel room was small but   
Elizabeth didn't have anywhere else to stay. Since she hadn't kept in   
contact with her friends from Sweet Valley, she didn't know anyone who she   
could have stayed with.   
She had known that Jessica would have been angry. But the fact that   
Jessica seemed indifferent hurt. Jessica seemed to have her life together   
and didn't want her sister a part of it. And she seemed to have found a   
guy she cared about and who she might be willing to settle down with.   
Elizabeth thought that was what she had with Conner. But she couldn't   
have been more wrong.  
When she and Conner had arrived in Boston, things had been great. They   
both had a lot of friends and Conner had been playing at a lot of   
clubs. And they seemed to grow more in love everyday.   
Then one winter day during their junior year Conner had been over in   
her apartment. They had been making out on her couch and Elizabeth had   
planned on loosing her virginity to Conner that night. The details were   
all so clear:  
_"God, Liz. I love you so much," Conner whispered, running his hands   
through her hair. "God, I love you so much."  
Elizabeth felt tingles shoot through her as she snuggled closer and   
knocked him back on the bed and sat on top of him.  
Conner grinned at her and pulled her arms out from under her, so that   
she falls on his chest. He rolled her over, so that he's on top. He   
started to unbutton her shirt and when he was halfway done so that her black   
bra was reveled, his cell phone went off.  
He grabbed for it, but Liz pulled his arm to her chest but Conner   
leaned over and answered the phone. "Hello?" Conner listened and after a few   
minutes he pushed the off button and stood up and started to tuck his   
shirt in and put his shoes on.  
"What's wrong?" Elizabeth asked concerned.  
"Something's...up," he answered quietly.  
Elizabeth got up and stood in front of him. "You're not going to leave   
now, are you?" Elizabeth asked in a small voice.  
Conner ran a hand through his hair. "I have to Liz," he started across   
the room but then turned to her and caught her lips in a searing kiss.   
Then he ran out the room.   
"Conner!" she screamed and ran out of the room and down the stairs   
after him. She dashed out the building trying to catch up with him, but he   
was gone. Tears started to fall down her cheek as she made her way back   
to the building._ _Several guys were in front of the door and started   
pointing at her and laughing. Elizabeth looked down and saw that her shirt   
was still hanging open.   
"Hey, you looking for a good time?" one of the guys leered at her.   
Another grabbed her and pressed her against his body. She tried to fight   
back but they were too strong. They ran their hands over her body.  
Suddenly a strong hand pulled her away and punched one of the guys in   
the face. She stared into the green eyes but then he was gone and she   
rushed inside the apartment sobbing._  
Elizabeth wiped away a tear. That was the last night she saw or heard   
from him. The next day she learned from his roommate that Conner had   
called for this things but had left no messages.  
Eventually the pain went away, but she never forgot him. First she had   
lost her sister, then her boyfriend. Then her sister again. Nothing was   
going her way.


	3. Changes

Elizabeth descended the large steps of Fowler Crest that morning. She   
had no idea if Lila still lived here but it was worth a shot. Since   
Jessica, and probably Ryan now, wouldn't talk to her, Elizabeth would try to   
reach Jessica through her friends.  
She knocked on the door. Presently, a maid came to the door and opened   
it. "Hi, does Lila live here?" she asked nervously. The maid nodded   
curtly and led her to large room where Lila was lounged out on the couch   
watching a soap opera. Her dark brown hair tumbled down her back and she   
was wearing a tight t-shirt that said 'Princess' across her chest.  
Lila glanced as the maid entered and her eyes lit up. "Jessica!" she   
said smiling walking towards Elizabeth with open arms. But when she   
reached Elizabeth she halted. "Elizabeth?" she asked tentively.  
Elizabeth nodded. "Hey, Lila."  
Lila stepped back and looked at her warily. "When did you get back?"  
"Yesterday. I went to see Jessica and she was..."  
"Mad?" Lila said raising an eyebrow.  
"Yeah, she wouldn't talk to me."  
"That figures. After you left, she was pretty upset. But after a few   
weeks, she became more like herself. She never mentioned you to anybody."  
"She shut me out of her life," Elizabeth whispered hoarsely.  
"What do you expect?" Lila said rudely. "I mean, it's not like you left   
on good terms. And you never wrote or called her. If you had made some   
effort instead of disappearing then she probably wouldn't be so mad."  
"Jessica knew where I was!" Elizabeth retorted.  
Then Lila's cell phone went off. "Hello, sweetie," Lila cooed into the   
phone and turned her back on Liz. Elizabeth glanced around the room.   
She noticed that the room seemed more overdone then when she had last   
come here in high school. Lila had a shelf full of awards and trophies,   
Elizabeth saw a cheerleading one and then her eyes went to another one.   
It was a plaque saying that Lila had won first place in the wet t-shirt   
contest for Spring Break. There was a photo of Lila wearing a black   
bikini bottom...and a very wet t-shirt that showed...well...a lot.  
"Now why did you come here, Liz?" Lila said, snapping Liz back to the   
present.  
"I wanted to know if you would talk to Jessica. Explain to her that I'm   
not mad and that I want to work our problems out. Maybe if she listened   
to you..."  
"Forget it, Liz?" Lila sneered. "I'm not your messenger. Plus, I doubt   
that she would listen to me anyways. This is your problem, not mine."   
And with that she looked at Liz. "I want to warn you, Liz, that things   
have changed since you went away."  
"Thanks for the warning," Elizabeth said snippily. And as she marched out   
of the room Lila said softly with a grin, "Things have _really _changed."  
  
"That was terrific, Jess," Lana said smiling brightly. "You did your   
best ever. Your definitely going to get a bigger part in the next   
production."  
"Thanks, but you know I'll only work if you're in the play as well,"   
Jessica said smiling affectionately at her best friend, Lana Michaels.  
She had met Lana during her sophomore year at school. Jessica had met a   
guy named Lance Parker who she dated for a few weeks. He was an actor   
in the campus theater group and and told Jessica a bunch of lies about   
losing his parents and was acting as a way to cover up his feelings.   
Jessica had fallen for it hook, line and sinker. But some good had come   
out of it. She had met her best friend. Lana was a member of the theater   
group as well and when Jessica had caught Lance making out with Lana   
she had freaked but she and Lana quickly realized that they had both been   
lied to and had bonded instantly.  
Jessica's eyes suddenly landed on a large bouquet of daisies on her   
dressing table. She picked it up confused.  
"Those are gorgeous!" Lana breathed. "Ryan is so romantic!"  
"Ryan didn't send these. He's allergic to daisies." Jessica was   
thoughtful for a minute. "I bet Elizabeth sent them trying to butter me up,   
but if she thinks that something like this will work then she has-"  
Jessica stopped as a shadow of a man filled the room.  
"Hey Jessica, great job tonight." Jessica turned to face him and she   
gasped when she saw him. He looked just as he had four years ago, maybe   
better. But she grabbed for a chair as she stared into the eyes of   
Jeremy Aames.


	4. As Friends

"J...Jeremy!" Jessica stuttered nervously as she gazed into his brown   
eyes. Correction. His _gorgeous_ brown eyes. "What are you doing here?"  
"I live here. I got a job doing research at the museum. A friend of   
mine told me if I wanted to see a hot girl then I should go see this play.   
I was surprised to find out it was you."  
"Your friend told you about me?" Jessica said, her eyes sparkling.  
"Is that a good thing?" Jeremy said laughing.  
"Yes. If I want to be a famous actress then I have to be at the tip of   
everyone's tongue."  
"I've never seen you this passionate about acting. You were in the high   
school plays but I didn't know you wanted to make a career out of it."  
"Well, there was a lot of things you didn't know about me."   
Jeremy shifted uncomfortably and Jessica softened. "I'm sorry. How have   
you been? How's Melissa?"  
"I've been great. I had a great time in Arizona. I got to travel all   
over the country. It didn't even feel like school."  
"And Melissa?" Jessica inquired.  
"What about her? I haven't seen her since I left. We decided not to   
write or call, so, who knows?"  
Jessica nodded. She couldn't believe Jeremy was so...indifferent.  
"So how was college for you, Jess?"   
"Great! I was president of of my sorority and it was a lot of fun."  
"And how's Liz?" Jeremy asked.  
"How should I know?" Jessica said shrugging. "I'm not her keeper."  
"You mean you guys didn't make up? It's been over four years!" Jeremy   
exclaimed.  
"So?" Jessica challenged.  
"You guys were always so close."  
"So were we," Jessica retorted.  
"Jess, I thought we'd agree to move on."  
Jessica smiled a little. "Yeah. So are you seeing anybody? Were you?"  
"I kind of dated around, there were so many girls, and I was never in   
a place long enough to get attached. How about you?"  
Jessica stared at Jeremy, amused. He'd certainly changed. "I dated a   
few guys in college. Right now I'm dating a guy I met junior year."  
"You're pretty serious then?" Jeremy asked.  
"Very."  
"That's too bad. I guess that means that I can't ask you out."  
Jessica laughed. "You can. As friends."  
"Okay, want to go out with me tomorrow night? As friends?" Jeremy   
mocked.  
"Sure," Jessica said. She grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled out   
her address. "Pick me up at seven."  
  
Jessica unlocked the front door.  
"Hey sweetie!" Ryan called out from the kitchen. "You're out of root   
beer!"  
"So," Jessica said lightly. "I don't drink the stuff."  
"But your boyfriend does," he said coming in and kissing her.  
"Then buy it for yourself. I swear, you spend more time over here then   
you do at your house."  
"You don't mind, do you?" he said looking at her sadly.  
"Stop!" she laughed. "You know I don't care."  
"So how was your play?" Ryan said grabbing a cookie from the jar.  
"It was good. Another sellout."  
"That's great. Sorry I couldn't make it, but I just got home from   
work."  
"It's okay. You probably have seen it so many times, you know the lines   
better than me."  
"You want to go out tomorrow night? We could go see a movie or   
something?"  
"Uhh...I have plans," Jessica lied. She didn't think that Ryan would be   
to thrilled that she was going out with an old boyfriend. "Lila had a   
hair crisis. She got a horrible cut and we're going to have a spa and   
hair night."  
"Doesn't she have a hairdresser?" Ryan asked confused.  
"Ryan! She needs me!" Jessica exclaimed.  
"All right. I'll never understand you girls though," he said laughing.  
"How about Saturday?" Jessica asked.  
"That's great!" Ryan exclaimed. "I gotta get back home, I love you   
Jess."  
"I love you," Jessica replied softly.  
She knew that it wasn't wrong to see Jeremy.  
But why did she feel so guilty?


	5. The Past is Past

"I'm glad you're home, sweetie," Mrs. Wakefield said hugging Elizabeth.  
"Me too, mom," she said smiling.  
"So what are you going to do?" Mr. Wakefield asked.  
"Well, I'm looking at apartments in Sweet Valley, and I just got a job   
at the TV station."  
"That's good," Mrs. Wakefield agreed. "You're always welcome here."  
"Thanks, mom," Elizabeth said. "Well, I should go. There's a few houses   
I wanted to check out. I'm supposed to meet with the realtor in about   
twenty minutes."  
"Liz," Mrs. Wakefield said hesitantly. "I know you and Jessica haven't   
stayed close over the years, but do you think, now that you're home,   
that maybe you two could work out your problems?"  
"I tried," Elizabeth sighed. "I went over to talk to her but she threw   
me out."  
"You got to keep trying, sweetie."  
"I know. Bye, mom, bye, dad!" she called out as she walked towards her   
convertible.  
As she drove she thought about what Lila had said about everything   
being different.   
Maybe there wasn't a place for her in Sweet Valley anymore.  
Because if Jessica didn't want her there, then there was no point in   
sticking around.  
Elizabeth pulled her car in the driveway of a small yellow house.   
Elizabeth thought it was attractive but probably out of her price range.  
She walked up the house and opened the door. "Hello?" she called out.  
A man walked into the room and Elizabeth looked up at him. He looked   
familiar with the brown hair and the brown eyes. "Todd," she said   
surprised.  
"Elizabeth?" he said staring at her.  
"It's great to see you!" Elizabeth said smiling and giving him a hug.   
"What have you been up to?"  
"Well, I have my own reality business, obviously, that's doing really well."  
"That's great!" Elizabeth said her eyes shining.  
"Whatever happened to you? The last time I saw you was at graduation.   
Then I heard that you went to Boston!"  
"Yeah," Elizabeth said shyly. "Me and Jessica kind of had   
a...difference of opinion, so I left. But now I'm back."  
"Yeah," Todd said clearing his throat. "I heard about   
your...um...difference of opinion. So are you guys the dynamic duo again?"  
"No," Elizabeth said not meeting Todd's eye. "She won't talk to me. Oh,   
Todd! I'm so alone. I almost wish I hadn't come back!"  
Todd took her hand. "You did the right thing, Liz. If Jessica's being   
stubborn that's not your fault. The past is past."  
"You're right I guess. I shouldn't have expected her to forgive me   
though. We haven't spoken in four years and we both have our own lives. I   
just wish I knew what happened with Jessica."  
"Have you got a month?" Todd joked.  
"That bad, huh? But I guess with Jessica, life is never simple."  
"If you want, maybe we can have dinner or something and catch up."  
Elizabeth stared into Todd's warm chocolate eyes. "I'd like that," she   
said smiling.  
  
"No, no, NO!" Jessica said throwing another dress onto her bed where a   
huge pile was growing. She had absolutely nothing to wear to Jeremy's.   
She wanted to look casual, but gorgeous. Flirty but not slutty. She dug   
through her closet and in the back she spotted a burgundy dress that   
was sleeveless.   
"Perfect," she breathed as she pulled it out. She had bought it last   
summer and put it away but forgotten about it. It would be perfect for   
tonight. She pulled it on and smiled at her reflection in the mirror. Even   
though it wasn't a date, she still wanted to look good.  
As she gathered her purse she felt slightly guilty for lying to Ryan.   
He had always trusted her and she had never given him a reason not to.   
But she knew he wouldn't like her seeing old boyfriends. And that was   
exactly what Jeremy was. And EX-boyfriend. It didn't matter how handsome   
he was. He was in the past now.  
  
Jessica walked up the stairs to his apartment. She had fallen in love   
with the old brick building at first site. She found his number and   
knocked.   
"Come in!" a voice called out.  
Jessica opened the door and walked in. The apartment was full of   
painting and old books. It had old Victorian furniture and was very classy.   
Jessica weaved through the furniture and saw Jeremy bending over the   
table lighting candles.   
"Hey, Jess," he said, his eyes lighting up. "You look great!"  
Jessica blushed and sat down. "You made dinner?"   
Jeremy nodded. Jessica smiled slightly. Ryan's idea of making her   
dinner was making Macaroni and Cheese.  
jersey walked over to his CD player and popped a classical CD in. He   
joined Jessica at the table and placed in front of her a steaming plate   
of lasagna.  
"This is incredible, Jeremy," she sighed.  
"Only the best," Jeremy said grinning.  
"You didn't have to go through so much trouble though," she protested.   
"It wasn't like this is a date or anything."  
"I've missed you, Jess. I think the worst thing I ever did was break up   
with you."  
Jessica shifted uncomfortably. "At the time, maybe it was the right   
thing to do."  
"Maybe," Jeremy said laughing quietly. He gazed at her intently. "But   
you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."  
"Maybe...maybe I should go," Jessica said hastily. "I think it was a   
mistake in coming." She grabbed her purse and dashed out of the   
apartment. She leaned against his door, breathing heavily. What had she done? It   
didn't seem so innocent anymore. But Jessica didn't want to admit it to   
herself, but she wanted to see Jeremy again.


	6. It's Us

Jessica trudged slowly up her front steps. How did things get so messed   
up? One minute she and Ryan were happy and in love and the next she was   
having feelings towards her ex-boyfriend.   
Yeah, so she used to be in love with him, but that was _so_ long ago and   
it had ended _so_ badly.  
But yet, she couldn't help feeling drawn to him. He was still the same   
old Jeremy, yet there was something different about him.   
Even though she had left before anything bad had happened, she still   
felt guilty. She and Ryan had been dating for a long time and she   
shouldn't be having feelings for another guy.  
She unlocked the door. She noticed that a light was on in the kitchen.   
She didn't remember leaving a light on. Then she head dished rattling.   
Was someone breaking into her house? She grabbed a vase off the hall   
table and slowly crept towards the kitchen. As she neared the   
entranceway the figure turned around. Jessica raised the vase high above her   
head ready to strike when:  
"Jessica?" Ryan asked surprised.  
"Ryan?" Jessica said gasping. "What are you doing here?"  
"I came by to drop off your costumes that you left my house." He   
glanced at the vase, "What are you doing?"  
"I thought that there was someone in the house," she said nervously   
setting the vase down. "You shouldn't be sneaking around like that."  
"Like what?" he asked confused. "I've come over before when you were   
gone and you never cared."  
"I know...it's just that I'm a little jumpy tonight."  
"So, how's Lila's hair? Is the situation under control? Should we be   
worried?" Ryan joked.  
Jessica looked at him alarmed and she replied quickly, "No, I think   
we're safe. It looks better now. Lila's hair, I mean."  
"You know," Ryan said opening the fridge. "I will never understand you   
girls. But I'm glad you got back a little early, now we can hang out or   
something."  
"Actually, I'm a little tired," Jessica admitted. "I was thinking of   
going up to bed."  
Ryan pulled out a can of pop and started drinking. "Bed? It's only   
eight-thirty."  
"I've had a long week and we're going out tomorrow so..." Jessica   
trailed off.  
"Are you sure? I could stay over and we could-"  
"It's okay," Jessica said smiling. "I'm kind of alone girl tonight, I   
guess."  
"Oh," Ryan said disappointed. He was hoping to see Jessica tonight. He   
put his can in with the recycling and headed towards the door. "Hey,   
Jess," he said thinking.  
"What?"  
"You said you and your sister had a fight. What was it about?"  
Jessica shifted uncomfortably. "Why?"  
"Just curious," he said shrugging.  
"Well, there was this girl who hated me and spread rumors about me and   
she and Elizabeth became friends and then the girl stole me boyfriend."  
"Oh," Ryan said. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow."  
He kissed her but after a few seconds she pulled away yawning. "Pick me   
up at six."  
"Sure," he said smiling. "Good night."  
"Night," Jessica said softly. She walked up the stairs into her   
bedroom. Suddenly the phone rang. "Hello?"  
"Hey, Jess. Not used to girls running out on me," Jeremy chuckled.  
"Hey, Aames," she said grinning. "Sorry about that."  
"So, how are you?"  
"I'm okay. Ryan was here when I got back. He's just always around."  
"I can understand that. Any guy lucky enough to be dating you would   
want to be around."  
Jessica laughed. "I guess. We're going out tomorrow."  
"That's nice...wait a second. I don't really care."  
Jessica giggled. I did have a nice time tonight, but I don't think I   
should see you again. Things got a little...you know..."  
"Heavy?" Jeremy supplied.  
"Yeah."  
"Well, it is you know, _us_. We kind of have a history. We used to be in   
love. What do you expect, us not to feel something for each other?"  
"I guess not. Well, I should go. I was going to go to bed."  
"Oh," Jeremy said knowingly. "Wish I was with you."  
"Jeremy!"  
"Just joking," Jeremy said. Jessica wasn't able to tell if he was or   
not. "Remember Jess, If you want anything, you know where I live."  
And Jeremy hung up. Jessica said the phone down. What was going on with   
her? She had gotten over Jeremy years ago. She pulled her dress off and   
slipped under the covers. Jeremy was just a friend.  
But somehow she couldn't convince her body of that. Or her heart.  
  
"You mean to tell me, that my sister was married!" Elizabeth exclaimed.  
"Yup," Todd said smiling. "But it didn't last long."  
"I just can't believe it. I mean, I can, it being Jessica but wow! What   
else did I miss?"  
"Well, I quit basketball and I also dropped out for a semester and   
worked as a bartender."  
Elizabeth's eyes widened. "Get out of town! You? A bartender?"  
"Hard to believe, isn't it?" Todd said grinning. "But I went back and   
changed my major and here I am."  
"Maybe I shouldn't have left," Elizabeth said sipping her wine.   
"You shouldn't have," Todd agreed. "Everyone missed you."  
"I did too," she said quietly.  
"Oh, and Enid Rollins started going by Alexandria and joined a   
sorority."  
"Enid?" Elizabeth said in disbelief. "Wow, things did change."  
"What about you?"  
"What do you want to know?" Elizabeth said nervously.  
"What happened with you?"  
"Pretty basic. I made friends, worked on the newspaper."  
"Cool," Todd said nodding.  
Elizabeth was relieved when he didn't press her. "So did you date   
anyone?"  
"Well, I saw this one girl, Dana, for a while-"  
Todd was interrupted when the waiter brought their meals over. The   
topic was forgotten about and when Todd had paid the bill, he and Elizabeth   
walked slowly back to his car.  
"I had a nice time tonight, Todd."  
"Me, too," Todd said squeezing her shoulders. "We can get to together   
again."  
"That would be great. How about Monday night?"  
"That's great." Todd leaned over and gave her a long hug. "Good night,   
Liz,"  
"Night," she said lightly. She climbed in her car.  
It was nice to have someone besides her parents to hang out with. And   
as she watched Todd she couldn't help but notice how handsome he was.


	7. Some Dessert

"I had a great time tonight, Jess. It seems like we've hardly seen each   
other lately."  
"Yeah," Jessica said distracted.  
"When does the new play start up?"  
"Rehearsals start next week," Jessica said smiling.  
"So, can I come in?" Ryan asked hopefully.  
Now that was a loaded question. Jessica had enjoyed the Mexican   
restraint they had eaten at. And Ryan was fun to be around, but Jessica wanted   
to have some dessert...  
"Ryan, I'm really tired. I'm sorry to do this again to you-"  
"It's okay, Jess. Maybe you're coming down with something."  
"Maybe," she agreed.  
"Well, I'll see you then. I'll call you tomorrow after work."  
"Okay, I'll probably just hang out with Lana or something."  
Ryan smiled own at her. "What?" she asked.  
"I just can't believe how lucky I am to be dating you Jessica. These   
past two and a half years have been the best years of my life."  
Jessica melted. "Ryan-" But he silenced her by kissing her. Then he   
pulled away and drove off. She touched her tingling lips, confused. But   
suddenly she felt a sudden desire to go see Jeremy.  
  
"So, wasn't the movie great?" Todd asked Elizabeth that evening as they   
walked from the movie theater.   
"There were a little too many bombs in it for my liking. I forgot what   
going to the movies with you was like," she said fondly.  
Todd laughed, "Come on, Liz. Nothing beats a good action flick."  
"Whatever you say!'  
They started to walk to his house which was only a few minutes away   
from the theater.  
"I forgot to thank you for the flowers," Elizabeth said smiling. "It   
was a nice surprise."   
"Just call it a welcome back present."  
"It was really nice. People haven't been bending over to me nice to me   
since I came back. Besides you, the only people I actually can talk   
to our my parents!"  
"Just give it some time, they'll come around. By the way," Todd said   
offhand. "When you left, weren't you seeing Conner?"  
"Yes, I was," she said carefully.  
"Whatever happened to you two?"  
"It's kind of a long story."  
"Enlighten me."  
"He left town about two years ago. And I haven't heard from him since.   
Actually it wasn't that long." Elizabeth said quietly.  
"Wow, that sucks."  
"Yeah, it does. But it was a long time ago." Elizabeth smiled up at him.   
She felt so comfortable with Todd. Even though he didn't make her heart   
skip like Conner did, Todd was easy to be with and he was home.  
They walked up his driveway. "Wow, this is a big house," Elizabeth   
admired.  
"Yeah," Todd said smiling.  
When they walked onto the porch he turned to Elizabeth. "I had a great   
time tonight."  
"I did too." Elizabeth said smiling. "We should go out again soon."  
"Maybe," he said offhandedly.  
"Thanks for making things easier Todd," Elizabeth said moving in. Even   
though they had only been out twice, she wanted him to know that it was   
okay to kiss her.  
"Your welcome. I missed you."  
"Me too," she said leaning closer. She noticed that Todd looked a   
little uncomfortable, but it must have been because she hadn't seen him in a   
while.  
"Todd I-"  
Suddenly the door flew open and Lila stood their. "Where the heck where   
you?" She noticed Elizabeth. "What is she doing here?"  
Elizabeth blushed and looked at Todd.  
He cleared his throat. "Liz, this is Lila, my fiancée."  
  
Jessica stood outside the hallway to Jeremy's apartment debating   
whether or not to knock on the door. Knocking would mean that she was   
willing to throw her relationship with Ryan away. Was he ready to do that?   
Oh, but she wanted Jeremy so badly. But she and Ryan had been in love for   
two years, wasn't that something?  
Slowly Jessica started to walk away when Jeremy's door opened.  
"Jessica?" he asked surprised. "I was getting the newspaper," he pointed   
to the paper.  
She walked over to him. He started at her bemused. "What?"  
"I shouldn't be here," she breathed.  
"But you are," he said laughing. "Do you want to come in?"  
Jessica stood there for a minute debating. It had been easier to walk   
away when she couldn't see him. She stared into Jeremy's warm brown   
eyes. Then she grabbed his shoulders and kissed him.  
  
How could I have been so stupid! He was just being polite! Elizabeth   
told herself. She didn't even like him in a romantic way. She was just so   
lonely and he was the only guy who was nice to her. She still felt   
humiliated. He must have thought that she was totally come onto him! She   
would have to call and let him know that it was okay, that she didn't want   
to jump his bones. But the weirdest thing was that he was dating Lila!   
Lila Fowler, little Miss Fancy Pants. Todd wasn't like her. Sure he was   
rich but they were two totally different people. Either Lila had changed   
or him. Yet another thing that had changed.  
Elizabeth stared at her hands. It seemed like _so_ much had changed. She   
wasn't even sure that there was a place for her in Sweet Valley   
anymore. She picked up the remote and turned on the television. She surfed   
through the channels and stopped at MTV. A music video was playing. It was   
rock and since she didn't really care for hard rock she began to   
change the channel when she noticed the singer. He was a young male playing   
a guitar while beautiful females danced in the background.  
Suddenly she recalled the words to a song that she had heard a long   
time ago.  
_She turned on TV, guess who she sees  
skater boy rocking up MTV_  
As she stared into the singer's sparkling green eyes, she realized that   
the man on television was none other than Conner McDermott.


	8. Superstar

Elizabeth stared intently at the television. Yup, it was him. Even   
though it had been two years, he still looked the same. Sure his hair was   
spiky now and if it was possible, he was even hotter then when he was   
twenty.   
Elizabeth felt tears well up in here yes. Conner was rock singer and no   
one had told her? He was probably in all the magazines, on the radio   
and probably on tour!  
She grabbed her cell phone and dialed her parents number.  
"Hey, mom? It's Liz. Why didn't you guys tell me that Conner was   
famous!'  
"I thought you knew, sweetie," her mother asked confused.  
"No, I didn't know!" Elizabeth shrieked. "When did all of it happen?"  
"He released his first disc last summer. It sold millions of copies,   
dear. He's been every where. I don't see how you could not have known."  
Elizabeth stared at the television in disbelief as the video ended.  
"Make sure you call this number if you want to win tickets to see   
Conner McDermott live in LA!!!" the announcer blared.  
Elizabeth ended the call with her mom and quickly dialed the number on   
the screen.  
"Crap," she muttered as she kept getting the busy signal. She dashed   
out of her room and into the hotel lobby. She ran and bought a newspaper   
and turned to the entertainment section. She saw the number for the   
local ticket outlet. She quickly dialed.  
"Hello," she said rushed. "I'd like a ticket for Conner McDermott's   
concert."  
The lady burst out laughing. "Are you kidding, dear? The show has been   
sold out for weeks!"  
"But Conner! He's my boyfriend! I mean, he used to be and I really need   
to see him."  
"Nice try, you won't believe how many people give me that story."  
Elizabeth hung up in frustration.  
She couldn't believe this. Somehow from the day he ran out on her to   
today he had become this huge superstar.  
She needed to do some investigation.  
  
Elizabeth poured through the phone book hoping to find some sign of   
Conner, Megan or their mother. Conner was unlisted, which she knew because   
he was famous. She couldn't find Sanbourne, but maybe Megan had gotten   
married or moved.   
Finally she dialed information and they were able to give her an   
address for a Miss Sandbourne. Elizabeth prayed that it was Megan.  
She got into her car and drove to Bellflower Ave. She pulled in front   
of a small white building. She read the sign in front that said Sweet   
Valley Mental Rehabilitation Center. Elizabeth began to wonder if they   
had given her a different Miss Sandbourne after all.  
She walked into an attractive lobby and went up to the front desk.   
"Hello," she greeted the receptionist. "I'm looking for Megan Sandbourne. I   
was told that there was a Sandbourne here," she babbled.  
"Yes, we have a Miss Megan Sandbourne, age twenty."  
"I think that's her," Elizabeth said worried. What was Megan doing   
here?  
The receptionist smiled up at her. "She's in room 19 down the hall to   
your left. It's nice that you came. Besides her brother she gets no   
other visitors."  
Elizabeth thanked her and started for the room. She approached number   
19 and slowly entered.  
The room was small but cheerful. In a armchair sat thin pale faced girl   
with short reddish hair. Elizabeth stared at her closely and realized   
that it was Megan.  
"Oh my God," Elizabeth said, tears running down her cheeks. What had   
happened to the cute vivacious girl that she had known four years ago?  
Elizabeth cautiously approached Megan and she reached out her hand to   
Megan's shoulder. As soon as she touched her, Megan let out a yelp and   
cowered away from Elizabeth.  
"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" a harsh voice said. The man   
grabbed Elizabeth and turned her sound.  
Elizabeth gasped as she stared into Conner's hard green eyes. 


	9. Another Groupie

"Conner," Elizabeth breathed.  
Conner stared at her intently and then a flicker of recognition   
appeared in his eyes. "Elizabeth?"  
"Yeah," she said, unsure of what to say. This wasn't how she expected   
their reunion. After he left she used to dream about him coming back to   
her, sweeping her up in his arms, and telling her that he couldn't live   
without her. All that was happening now was that he was gazing at her   
like he didn't even want her in the room.  
"What are you doing here?" he said finally.  
"I was looking for Megan," she explained. "And this was the address   
they gave me. Conner what happened?"  
Conner shifted uncomfortably. "It's kind of a long story."  
"Enlighten me," she challenged.  
Conner looked over his shoulder. "Not here and not now," he pleaded.  
"Why not?" Elizabeth said softly. "I also want to know why you left.   
And why you never wrote or called."  
"A lot had changed," Conner stated.  
"So I'm told," Elizabeth said. "Ever since I came back no one has   
wanted to see me and plus nothing is the same. It's like no one even wants   
me around."  
"It's hard coming back," Conner agreed. "And people do want you around.   
It's just not easy coming back after you leave. Especially since you   
didn't leave on the best terms with everyone."  
"Can't we talk Conner?" Elizabeth said near tears.  
Conner fazed at his shoes. I guess we have to."  
"No kidding," Elizabeth said her voice dripping with sarcasm.  
"I kind of have plans now. But maybe we can get together tomorrow for   
lunch."  
"Okay," Elizabeth said. Conner scribbled out his address and handed it   
to her.  
"Just so you know, I don't hate you," Conner said.  
Elizabeth opened her mouth to reply but she was interrupted by a   
breathy voice.  
"Conner, angel, you ready?"  
Elizabeth started as a girl walked into the room. She was everything   
Elizabeth wasn't. She was tall, shapely, and had long wavy chestnut hair   
to die for. She was wearing tight nurses uniform that didn't leave much   
to the imagination.  
Elizabeth shot Conner a look and he looked at the girl nervously.   
"Elizabeth, this is Monique my girlfriend. Monique, this is Elizabeth.  
Monique gazed Elizabeth up and down with a tiny smirk on her face. "She   
another one of your groupies or something?"  
Elizabeth felt her face burning. "Actually, I'm an old flame of   
Conner's. We used to be in love."  
Monique wasn't smirking now, Elizabeth noted. She was shooting daggers   
at her.  
"I think you need to go now," Conner said quietly at her.  
Elizabeth's heart flopped. Conner was sending her out? So he could be   
with Monique? What a stupid name. Elizabeth slowly and humiliated walked   
out of the room.  
This was just one for reason why she should hop on a plane and get out   
of Sweet Valley.  
  
"Coffee?" Jeremy said grinning down at her.  
"Sure. Black, please."  
Jeremy handed her a mug and joined her at the kitchen table. "So how   
have you been?"  
Jessica sighed and looked down at the table. "Stressful. Ryan is   
beginning to suspect that something is going on. He's so pathetically   
clueless that it's almost cute."  
"It sounds like he's delusional."  
"He's just in love," Jessica said defensively. "There is nothing wrong   
with that."  
They sat quietly together for a few minutes. "I hate this!" Jessica   
burst out. "I used to know who I was and what I wanted and now nothing   
makes sense anymore. I feel so dirty going behind his back like this. I   
hate who I am!"  
Jeremy looked over at her. "You don't have to come here."  
Jessica stared at him. He had gotten it exactly. She didn't have to   
come here. She shouldn't come here. But something was drawing her here   
each day. It was like an obsession.  
She got up and walked over to the bedroom where Jeremy had put her   
coat. "I should go Jeremy," she said.  
"Go," Jeremy said shrugging. "But you just can't walk out and think   
this is over Jessica. Maybe you could have the first time but not now. You   
crave me. Just like an alcoholic craves beer. You don't come over in   
the middle of the day dressed like that," he said motioning to her short   
black dress. "If this doesn't mean anything."  
Jessica stared up at him unable to speak.  
Suddenly Jeremy grabbed her forcefully and began to kiss her hungrily.  
Jessica noted that their animal instincts were kicking in. As much as   
she wanted to fight it she knew that she couldn't.  
They collapsed onto his bed his fingers unzipping her dress and pulling   
it down around her waist.  
Jessica knew that things were getting out of hand. She knew that only   
one person could help her now. She was going to have to talk to   
Elizabeth.  
  
Jessica and Jeremy lay stretched out across his bed.  
"So when do I get to see the hottest rising actress perform?"  
"Opening night is Friday night," Jessica said smiling.  
"So do I get a ticket?" Jeremy teased.  
Jessica thought about it for a minute. Ryan was attending opening night   
as well and she didn't want to risk them running into each other. But   
neither of them knew what the other looked liked. "Sure," she replied.  
She glanced at the clock. "It's four-thirty!" she shrieked.  
"Yeah," Jeremy said lazily. "So what?"  
"Ryan always stops by to see me after work," Jessica explained.  
"Man, it seems like that guy just follows you around like a lovesick   
puppy," Jeremy commented.  
"It's not like that," Jessica said. She got up and started putting on   
her clothes. "He just cares about me."  
"Stop that," Jeremy said grabbing her. "Stop implying that I don't and   
stop rubbing it in that Ryan's like God's gift to women."  
Jessica stared at him. "Jeremy, you know that we're heading for   
trouble. That we're going to get caught or one day the flame just dies."  
"Says who?"  
"Jeremy, this is eating us up. Pretty soon there's going to be nothing   
left," Jessica cried.  
"Jessica, I love you," Jeremy said moaning. "Can't you see that? I want   
you."  
"What?" Jessica said in disbelief. Neither of them had ever uttered the   
"L" word.  
"You heard me," Jeremy said pulling her close.  
"I have to go," Jessica said breathlessly.  
"You can't run away from it forever," Jeremy said getting up after her.  
"Jeremy, I just need some time to think things through. This has all   
been happening way too fast.  
"That's the best part," Jeremy said smirking.  
"I have to go," Jessica said quietly. "Please."  
"Right," Jeremy said grinning down at her. "Don't forget this." He   
pulled Jessica's red lace bra from his pants pocket and dangled it on his   
finger. Jessica grabbed it and stormed out of his apartment.  
  
  
"So, how are rehearsals going?" Ryan asked Jessica.  
"Pretty well."  
"So, when I can I come watch you?" Ryan said lightly.  
"Uh, you can't," Jessica said quickly. "The director is pretty strict   
about stuff like that," Jessica lied. Her mind flew back to last night's   
rehearsals where she and Jeremy had made out behind the scenery.  
"Oh," Ryan said disappointed.  
After a few moments of silence he cleared his throat. "Jessica, there's   
something I've been wanting to talk about for a while."  
"What?" Jessica said alarmed.  
"Well, these last couple of days I've hardly seen you. And when we are   
together you're all jumpy and distracted. I want to know if you're   
happy with our relationship."  
Jessica stared at him, speechless. In her mind she knew that this was   
coming. And Ryan was giving her the perfect opportunity to break up with   
him.  
"These past two and half years have been the best years of my life   
Jessica." Ryan continued. "I'm so in love with you that I can't think   
straight."  
Jessica melted at that. "Ryan, I-"  
"You don't have to say anything Jess. Just tell me that I'm being   
paranoid."  
Jessica wanted to tell him the truth. That he wasn't being paranoid.   
That he was closer to the truth than he thought. She had been distant and   
jumpy. Jessica had been fully prepared to break up with him to be with   
Jeremy. But what did Jeremy and her have? Great passion? Was that   
enough?  
Good relationships were built on trust, but theirs seemed to be built   
on secrecy and lies.  
And she knew if Ryan ever found out then she would loose him.  
"You're not totally paranoid," Jessica admitted. She cringed as Ryan   
tensed up. "I've been really busy lately with the play." Jessica glanced   
up at him and she could tell that he wasn't buying it.  
"But it's more than that," Jessica said quietly. "This whole thing with   
Liz…I guess I haven't really dealt with it. I kind of shoved it to the   
back of my mind. But now that she's back I just can't ignore it   
anymore."  
Ryan smiled at her. "That's all. I mean that's rough-"  
"I know what you mean," Jessica said laughing. "But this thing with   
Liz…it's far from over, Ryan. We both changed so much. Even if we get over   
our differences, I have no idea who she is anymore. It's gonna take a   
lot of time, and energy and I'm _so_ scared. And I can't get through it   
without you."  
Ryan looked a little overwhelmed but he smiled up at her. "Wow,   
Jessica. Of course I'll be there for you. Always."  
"I know." Jessica said quietly. "I know."


	10. That Monique Bimbo

Elizabeth sat at the small table in the coffee shop waiting for Conner.  
She looked down at her outfit, white capri's and a green tank top. She   
had changed her clothes about ten times because she had wanted to look   
perfect.  
She hoped Conner would show up. She hadn't seemed to thrilled to see   
her yesterday and then he had kicked her out so he could be with that   
Monique bimbo.  
Suddenly the door chimed and Conner walked in. He scanned the empty   
cafe and noted that it was empty.  
"Hey Conner," Elizabeth said smiling up at him.  
"Uh, hey," he mumbled.   
"I'm glad you came," she said looking at him.  
"I almost didn't," he said.  
"I'm just going to come out and say it Conner. I want to know what   
happened."  
Conner sighed. "I don't know where to begin."  
They were interrupted by a waitress who set two steaming cups of coffee   
in front of them.  
"Sorry," Elizabeth apologized. "I ordered for you. Mocha's are still   
you're favorite, right?"  
Conner nodded.  
"Start with junior year, the night you left," Elizabeth prodded.  
"Okay," Conner said finally. "That night when my cell phone went off,   
that's when it all started. The person who called was my grandmother.   
Megan was in the back yard listening to her headphones. When she came   
inside she found my mother in a heap on the floor. She called 911, but   
my mom was already gone. She had had a severe heart attack and it had all   
happened too fast for Megan to have done anything."  
"I'm so sorry," Elizabeth said tears forming in her eyes. "I had no   
idea."  
"But it got worse," Conner went on. "Megan felt so horrible and she   
blamed herself. And right after the funeral Megan just kind of shut   
down.   
There is nothing physically wrong with her. She just exists in her own   
little world and she's been like that ever since. She doesn't respond   
to me or even shows any sign that she knows who I am."  
"Can she get better?" Elizabeth asked.  
"The doctors don't know. Once, she came out of it, for like, a second.   
She looked at me right in the eyes and said 'Conner'. But then she   
disappeared again."  
"Can she talk?" Elizabeth asked.  
"She mumbled about stuff, but everything she knows is what kind of   
world she's built up for herself in her mind. She can walk and feed   
herself   
and stuff."  
Elizabeth was quiet for a few minutes. "Wow, Conner, I had no idea."  
"How could you?" Conner said bitterly. "I felt horrible about not   
calling or anything but when I got back I had mom gone and Megan all   
messed   
up. By the times got under control it was too late."  
"I would have understood," Elizabeth said quietly.  
"I know, but I guess I figured that it would be easier for you if you   
didn't see from me or hear from me."  
Elizabeth grabbed his hand and held it.  
"After I got Megan at the center, I couldn't leave her so I took   
classes at the community college and got a degree in business   
management. I   
also sang songs and released a CD to bring some money in."  
"I heard that you're successful." Elizabeth said softly.  
"Yeah, I'm doing pretty well."  
"So what about Monique," Elizabeth said. "How does she fit in?"  
"She's a nurse at the center and she used to be in charge of Megan. She   
worked with us and we got to be really close. She's really great,"   
Conner said uncomfortably. "What about you? How did you do?"  
"Well," Elizabeth began. "Right after you left some guys tried to rape   
me, but some guy stopped them."  
"I know," Conner said quietly.  
"It was you?" Elizabeth exclaimed. "Thanks."  
"I could never leave you like that," Conner murmured.  
Elizabeth gazed into his eyes. "I was pretty upset after you left. I   
came back here hoping to fix things with Jessica but I think I made   
things worse. I'm thinking of returning to Boston."  
"You should stay," Conner said gazing at her. "I missed you Liz. When I   
left you that night, I felt like I was leaving a part of me behind. It   
was a long time before I was able to be happy again."  
"With the walking slut bomb?" Elizabeth said harshly.  
Conner glared at her. "Come on, Liz. You don't even know her."  
"I don't want to know Monique!" Elizabeth shrieked. "Don't you get it?"   
"Get what?" Conner growled. "You're the one acting like their five   
years old!"  
Elizabeth blushed and looked away from Conner.   
Conner softened. "What's really going on Liz."   
"I said that when you left that I was really upset. It took a long time   
before I was able to be happy again. I never got over you," Elizabeth   
said gently. "Conner, I'm still in love with you."  
Conner stared at her in shock. "What?"  
"You heard what I said!" Elizabeth said her face flaming.  
"You still…that was over two years ago, Liz!"  
"I know!" Elizabeth shot back. "But I can't help how I feel."   
Conner opened his mouth then shut it. "I can't do this right now." He   
stood up and walked out of the café.  
Elizabeth sat there and began to quietly cry.  
  
Jessica carefully applied another coat of lipstick. It was opening   
night and she was due on stage in five minutes.  
Most of the other actors dreaded opening night. Jessica loved it. She   
loved telling the story for the first time and the excitement that all   
their hard work had paid off.  
"Hey, baby," she turned around at the voice. Jeremy was standing in the   
doorway.  
"You aren't supposed to be here!" Jessica hissed. "I'm on stage in   
five-"  
Jeremy silenced her with a long deep kiss.  
"Hmmmmm," she purred.  
She wrapped her arms around his neck and Jeremy placed his arm on her   
thigh.   
"I have to go," she moaned but Jeremy just kissed her more   
passionately.  
She pulled away and gazed at him longingly. She raced over to her mark   
breathing heavily and flushed.   
  
After the play Jessica and Lana were undressing and gossiping about the   
play.  
"Wasn't Matt Morgan, terrific tonight?" Lana sighed.  
Jessica giggled, "Yeah, you should totally ask him out."   
"I don't know," Lana said thoughtfully. "I'm not as bold as you are   
Jessica."  
"Yes you are," Jessica insisted as she pulled her silk robe on.  
Suddenly the girls were interrupted as Jeremy walked into the dressing   
room.  
Lana gazed questionably at Jessica.  
Jessica blushed and mouthed 'later' to her friend.  
"You were awesome tonight," Jeremy said grinning down at her.  
"Thanks," she said nervously. He took her hand and pulled her close. He   
started to loosen her robe and Lana's eyes were now as big as saucers.  
Jessica grabbed his hand and led him to the small bathroom near the   
back of the room. "You shouldn't have come," she said breathing heavily.   
"I mean-" but Jeremy silenced her with a kiss.   
The kiss got deeper when suddenly Lana said loudly, "She's right here   
in the bathroom."  
"I'll wait," the person replied.  
Jessica froze. Ryan was in her dressing room! 


	11. Little Miss Barbie Doll

Jessica pushed Jeremy away and ran out into the dressing room.  
"Ryan, what are you doing here?" she said, flushed.  
"I always come back here after the show, Jess," Ryan said confused.  
"Right, I forgot," Jessica said quickly.  
"Are you okay?" Ryan asked.  
"Yeah, just a little wound up from the performance," she said brightly.  
"You were awesome," Ryan said bringing her close. "Definitely the   
best."  
Lana cleared her throat. "You were great too," Ryan said quickly.  
He pulled a small box from his jacket. "This is for you," he said   
handing it to Jessica.  
She opened the box and gasped. "A sapphire necklace!" she breathed.   
"Ryan, it's perfect."  
Ryan grinned. "Here let me put it on."  
"Thank you so much," Jessica said smiling. "I don't deserve it."  
"You do," Ryan said looking at her intently.  
Jessica became uncomfortable and she looked away.  
"Do you want to go out?" Ryan asked her. "We could grab something to   
eat or go dancing.  
"I'd-" she started to say but Lana coughed and pointed to the bathroom.   
"I'd love to Ryan but Lana and I have plans."  
"Lana can come with us," Ryan offered.  
"Well," Jessica stammered.  
"I made reservations at Casa Rosa for two," Lana finished. "I'm sorry,   
if knew that you wanted to be with your woman, I wouldn't have made   
them."  
"Oh," Ryan said disappointed.  
"How about we go out tomorrow," Jessica said brightly.  
"Great," Ryan said sulkily.  
"Come on," Lana said giggling. "She's gonna be with me. It's not like   
she's having an affair or anything."  
"That's true," Ryan agreed as Jessica shot daggers at her friend.  
Ryan kissed Jessica good-bye and slipped out.  
Jeremy came out. "Bye, Jess."  
"Wait," Jessica cried out. "I thought we had plans."  
"I'm not really in the mood," Jeremy said coldly. "I'll see you later."  
"Okay," Jessica said absently as Jeremy left.  
Lana put her hands on her hips. "Now what was all that about?"  
Jessica sighed. "Jeremy was my boyfriend back in high school."   
"And now you and he are," Lana said knowingly. "Isn't he the guy that   
dumped your for your worst enemy?"   
"Yeah, but he was sweet and thoughtful," Jessica sighed.  
"He seems like a jerk to me," Lana said. "Does he know about Ryan?"  
Jessica nodded. "And he's still seeing you? Lana commented. "What a   
dog."  
"It's not like that," Jessica argued.  
"He is amazing looking," Lana conceded. "So when are you going to end   
things with Ryan?"  
"I'm not," Jessica said softly.  
"What?" Lana said shocked. "You can't have them both."  
"I know," Jessica whimpered.  
Lana looked at her and Jessica felt horrible. Lana gathered up her bag   
and walked out of the room without saying good-bye.   
Jessica didn't cry. She didn't have any tears left. And she didn't have   
anyone to talk to. Suddenly she recalled Elizabeth handing her a scrap   
of paper when she had visited the house a few weeks back. Jessica   
rummaged around in her purse until she found it. She picked up the telephone   
and dialed. It rang twice, then the telephone was picked up, and her   
sister's voice filled the receiver.   
Jessica wasn't sure what to say so all she said was "Liz? It's me."   
  
"So how was your lunch with Little Miss Barbie Doll?" Monique said   
sarcastically.  
Conner glanced at her. "It was fine," he said quickly. "I told her what   
happened and that was it.  
Conner would never tell his girlfriend that Elizabeth had admitted that   
she still wanted him.  
Conner couldn't even believe it himself. Sure he and Elizabeth had   
dated for about three years. But she needed to move on. He had. Monique was   
beautiful and sexy. But even Conner could admit that they didn't share   
the same connection that he and Liz had shared.  
"I'm glad you got rid of her," Monique continued. "What a freak. What   
did you see in her?"  
Conner ran his fingers through his hair. "Does it really matter?"  
"I suppose not," Monique sighed. "I mean, I have you and she doesn't."  
Conner smiled at her and took in her delicate features. Her deep blue   
eyes…Conner mentally slapped himself. Monique had brown eyes. He placed   
a hand gently on her face. He took in her sensuous mouth and his eyes   
traveled down to her black halter-top. What had Elizabeth called her? A   
slut bomb. He needed to stop thinking about his ex girlfriend. Here he   
was with the most beautiful woman on earth.  
Conner leaned in and began kissing Monique. She responded hungrily. He   
placed his hand on her cool bare stomach.  
Suddenly Conner wasn't in the mood and he broke away.  
Monique didn't get angry. Probably because she couldn't come up with   
the thought Conner thought.  
She continued to kiss his neck. Conner didn't bother to push her away.   
She pushed the straps of her tank top down off her shoulders and leaned up   
against him. He pushed her away.   
She looked up at him with big eyes. "Don't you wanna play?" she cooed.   
Conner didn't respond and he could tell she was getting frustrated.   
"What's wrong with you Conner?"s  
"I guess I'm not in the mood," she said not looking her in the eye.  
She punched him on the arm. Conner guessed that she was trying to hurt   
him but her punch didn't hurt at all. "You're never in the mood   
anymore!" she accused. "I thought we were having fun. Then she came along."  
"God, Mon. Liz only appeared yesterday. And we are having fun."  
Monique shook her head vigorously. "Uh-uh. You never take me to your   
cool Hollywood parties and we never get to hang out with cool or smart   
people."  
"We don't hang out with smart people cause you're dumb as a brick,"   
Conner hissed. "At least Liz was smart."  
Monique looked at him hurt. "I am smart, Conner. I passed the medical   
training program to become a nurse."  
"You're a nurse's assistant," Conner corrected.  
"Whatever, I thought you liked me Conner McDermott. You don't think I'm   
good enough or smart enough but you think enough of me to let me be   
your girlfriend."  
Conner hesitated. She had him there. He did like some things about her.   
She was a good dresser and an amazing kisser.  
"But," Monique continued. "I guess I'm good of enough of a threat to   
make your precious Lizzie jealous."  
"She's not jealous," Conner lied. "I think she was a little hurt,   
that's all."  
Monique sat there quietly. Conner looked at her warily. Monique was   
never quiet. "Conner do you even like me?" she asked thoughtfully.  
Conner stared at her. "Of course I like you, Mon. I wouldn't have put   
up with you this long is I didn't."  
"But do you like me for more than my body. Every guy I ever went out   
with only liked me because of what I look like."  
"Well you are a knockout," Conner agreed. "But you're also trusting and   
you try really hard at things.  
Monique's eyes brightened. "Really?"  
Conner nodded. Liz was part of his past now. Part of his better past,   
yeah. But Monique was here now. But he began to wish that he had stayed   
single. 


	12. Keeping My Options Open

Jessica and Jeremy sat together at a night club that evening. Jessica   
had ten minutes before she had to meet Ryan. She sipped her water.   
Jeremy smiled over at her. The music was pretty loud but Jessica was happy   
just being with him. She had never been here but Jeremy had assured her   
that it was one of the coolest clubs around. She opened her mouth to   
ask Jeremy to dance when a pretty girl danced up next to Jeremy. Jessica   
noticed that Jeremy was staring at her, especially her large chest   
which moved freely cupped in her black lace bra.  
Jessica's face grew hot. Ryan never noticed other girls and Jessica   
hated to be ignored. She gave Jeremy a hard stare and he shifted   
nervously.  
"Would you like to dance?" the girl slurred leaning up against him.  
Jeremy blushed and shook his head. "I'm sorry, but can I have your   
drink?" Jeremy rushed pointing to her hand. She giggled and handed him the   
drink and bounced away.  
Jessica glared at him. "So what? That's what turns you on?" she   
sneered.  
"Of course not," he said grabbing her hand. "I just like to keep my options  
open."  
Jessica pulled away. "I have to go...meet...Ryan." she blindly ran out of the  
club. What was wrong with her? She leaned against the cool brick wall of the  
club and sobbed.  
  
  
Elizabeth and Jessica sat facing each other. Neither of them knew what   
to say. Jessica had invited her sister over to talk but she hadn't   
talked to her sister in over four years.   
"Liz," she said carefully. "I'm really glad you came back. Although in   
college it would appear that I didn't care about you, I really did. I   
missed you so much. Whenever something bad was happening or I had big   
news, I still had this desire to tell you. Because I told you more than I   
ever told my friends or boyfriends."  
Elizabeth smiled. "I missed you too. It seemed like a part of me was   
missing."  
"You probably had a dull life without me there to drag you into my   
schemes."  
Elizabeth's eyes twinkled. "I'd like to think of it more as normal. But   
you are so full of life, Jess. There's no one like you."  
The two sisters stood there grinning through their teary eyes. They   
knew that they were on the road to recovery. They both knew that they   
would probably never again be as close as they were in high school.   
Jessica got up and started pacing. "I'm in huge trouble, Liz."  
Elizabeth smiled wryly, "I guess not everything has changed."   
"I'm having an affair with Jeremy!" Jessica blurted out.  
Elizabeth stared at her in shock. "Jeremy? You mean Jeremy Aames?"  
Jessica nodded. "Ryan doesn't know about Jeremy but Jeremy knows about   
Ryan. And I like them both!" Jessica said sobbing.   
Elizabeth walked over to her sister and sat her down. "You know you're   
going to have to end it with one of them. What about Ryan?"  
"I can't!" Jessica sobbed. "I've been dating him for over two years and   
I can see myself with him. And Jeremy makes me feel so good."  
Jessica wiped her eyes. "What am I going to do Liz?"  
Elizabeth stroked her sister's hair. "I don't know, Jess. I really   
don't know."  
"Listen," Jessica sniffled. "How would you like to go out with Ryan and   
get to know him? I'll invite Jeremy over and make a decision about what   
to do."  
Elizabeth sighed. "I don't know Jess," but when she saw her sister's   
face, she gave in. "Okay. I would like to get to know Ryan. But are you   
going to end it with Jeremy?"  
Jessica shook her head. "I'm not ready."  
"I'm only helping because I want you to make up your mind. I don't   
approve what you're doing. You're lying to Ryan and being unfair to   
Jeremy."  
"Don't I know," Jessica sighed.   


Jessica pulled a thick sweater over her head and put on her baggiest   
jeans. She didn't want Jeremy getting the wrong idea. They were meeting   
to talk. Something they didn't usually do. Jessica wanted to see if   
Jeremy was still the same guy that she had fallen in love with back in high   
school.   
The doorbell rang suddenly bringing Jessica back to reality. She went   
downstairs and let Jeremy in.   
Jeremy smiled down at her.  
"What?" she said self-consciously.  
"You look so beautiful," he told her.  
Jessica glanced down at her outfit. "No I don't."  
"You always look beautiful."   
Jessica blushed and gestured for him to come in.   
They sat down together on her living room couch. "Jeremy," she started.   
"We've been uh…seeing-"  
"Cheating," Jeremy supplied.  
"Uh, yeah." Jessica blushed. "But I'm so unhappy, Jeremy! I hate lying   
to Ryan and to you. And this is destroying us."  
"Jess," Jeremy said softly. "I thought being with you made me happy."  
"Being with you makes life happier for a little while." Jessica sighed,   
knowing what she had to do. "But Ryan really cares about me and he…he   
loves me."  
Jeremy looked at Jessica confused. "What are you saying?"  
Jessica looked down at her hands. "When you broke up with me to be with   
Melissa Fox I was devastated. I didn't think I could go on and I spent   
so much time hoping that you would come back."  
"But," Jeremy supplied.  
"But, I moved on." Jessica said looking at him. "Ryan has never hurt me   
and I can't stand hurting him like this."  
"So don't tell him," Jeremy said.  
"I have to!" Jessica burst out irritated. "Doesn't it bother you?"  
"Not really," Jeremy said shrugging. "If I make you happys, then I make   
you happy."  
Jessica stared at him in disbelief. Had he really changed this much   
since high school? He used to be so sweet and sensitive. Jessica felt like   
she was finally seeing him for the first time. The Jeremy she had seen   
for the past few weeks had been the Jeremy from high school.  
"I guess I shouldn't have expected you to still want me," Jeremy said   
softly.  
"A part of me will always want you Jeremy. You were a really important   
part of my life."  
"But not anymore," Jeremy finished.  
Jessica nodded and put a hand to his cheek. "I'm sorry."  
Jeremy smiled disappointedly at her. "I knew all along. If Ryan makes   
you happy then that's good."  
"He does," Jessica said.  
They both knew that there was nothing left to be said and Jessica   
leaned over and hugged Jeremy.  
Suddenly Jessica heard the door opened and Elizabeth and Ryan walked   
into the room.  
Ryan saw her and Jeremy hugging and went pale. "Jessica?" he said   
hoarsely. 


	13. I Trusted You

"Jessica?" Ryan repeated. "What are you doing? And who?"  
Jessica's face was white and she was staring at Ryan. Of all the times   
for him to walk in. "Ryan…" Jessica trailed off. Jeremy stood up and   
left as did Elizabeth leaving her and Ryan alone.  
"Ryan," Jessica started. "There are some things we need to talk about."  
Ryan joined her on the couch. "I already know, Jessica," he said   
coldly.  
"You know?" she said horrified.  
"Yes, I know about you and Jeremy and what you guys have been doing   
behind my back."  
"How?" she gasped.  
Ryan's eyes flashed. "I'm not stupid Jessica. We know each other pretty   
well and I know when something's up. Also at the play, he was sitting   
across from me and he came back from the dressing rooms just as you came   
onstage and he spent the entire time looking at you."  
Jessica was speechless. "Why didn't you say anything?"   
"I was waiting for you to tell me," Ryan said. "I trusted to Jessica,   
how could you do this to us  
Jessica wiped tears away as she talked. "He was my boyfriend back in   
high school and we ended pretty badly. And then he swept in here wanting   
me back and I guess I was flattered and confused." Jessica grabbed his   
hand but he pulled it away. That gesture made Jessica's heart clench.   
"I ended it with him tonight. We're through."  
"And that's supposed to make me feel better?"  
"Of course not. However, I was going to tell you. I didn't want to keep   
on lying to you."  
"It's too late for that," Ryan said heartlessly.  
"Being with him…It made me feel so guilty and miserable."  
Ryan didn't say anything. "I thought we were happy with the way things   
were going. Did I ever do anything-"  
"No!" Jessica said vigorously. "It has nothing to do with you. I was   
stupid and naïve and I want so bad to go back and change what I have   
done. But I can't. I made a mistake. But we can fix and move on, can't we?"   
Jessica said hopefully.  
"I don't know," Ryan said looking away from her. "Relationships are   
built on trust, Jess. How can I trust you after all this? But I still…care   
about you."  
Jessica gave him a small smile. "But trust can be regained."  
Ryan nodded. "It can. But if I don't trust you then how will I know if   
you won't do something like this again?"  
"I won't," Jessica said. "I learned my lesson."  
Ryan stood up. "Jessica, I need to be alone for a little while. I need   
to decided what I want and what would be the best thing for us to do."  
"But-"  
"I'll call you soon," Ryan interrupted. He turned and walked out of the   
house.  
"But I love you," Jessica finished. But he could no longer hear her.   
  
Elizabeth sat on a towel at Crescent Beach. After arriving to Jessica's   
with Ryan, she knew that Jessica and Ryan had some issues they needed   
to work out. Elizabeth hoped for the best because Ryan seemed like a   
very nice and interesting person. She couldn't understand why Jessica had   
tossed their relationship aside. If Elizabeth had a guy like Ryan, she   
would be holding onto to him for dear life.  
How had her and her sister managed to screw up so bad? When they were   
little they used to fantasize about getting marriage right after   
college. Over the years the guys had changed but Elizabeth and her sister were   
always happy and in love.  
She hadn't wanted to the return to her hotel yet. She had remembered   
Crescent Beach from all the parties her senior year.   
But coming here was bringing back a whole flood of memories from her   
and Conner's college years: Watching a _Charlie Brown Christmas_ in his   
dorm, hiking on the Appalachians, studying together, and just being   
together. But those days were over. Conner had moved on with Monique. He no   
longer needed her.  
"Is this seat taken?" a deep voice said behind her. She turned around   
to see Conner standing behind her.  
"No," she said gesturing next to her. "What are you doing here?" she   
asked surprised.  
"Sometimes when I'm confused or something I like to come here."  
"Oh," Elizabeth said.  
The two of them sat in silence for a few minutes watching the sun set.   
Elizabeth began to shiver because the temperature had dropped.   
Conner wrapped his arm around her. Elizabeth sighed and leaned her head   
on his shoulder.  
"This is nice," she murmured.  
Conner and Elizabeth sat there quietly. Nothing needed to be said at   
that moment. There were many questions Elizabeth had, but just being with   
Conner made her forget every single one of them.   
  
I hope you have enjoyed all these new chapters! Any reviews are appreciated.


	14. Believe

If there was one thing that Conner McDermott liked, it was control. He   
liked to be in control of things. Because as soon as you lost control,   
things fell apart and people began to lean on you.  
By going to the beach and sitting with Elizabeth he had lost control.   
By going back he was giving her a sign that he   
still...cared...about...her.  
And Elizabeth would follow him around expecting that they become a   
couple and then Monique would kill him.  
Conner ran his hands though his hair. He hated being confused.   
But he couldn't get Elizabeth out of his head. Some of the happiest   
moments of his life were with Elizabeth. They had shared so much until he   
had left. But what if things weren't the same between them anymore? Two   
years was a long time and they had both grown and changed. What if he   
blew his chance with Monique for nothing?  
He looked over at Megan, whom he was visiting. Sometimes he envied her.   
She didn't have any dies to people or responsibilities. But she also   
didn't have much of a life.  
Conner leaned over and looked at her intently. "What should I do, huh,   
Sandy?" he said softly.  
She stared at him blankly not meeting his eye.  
He reached out slowly to take her hand. Megan didn't like to be touched   
but Conner laced his fingers with her and she didn't pull back. Conner   
smiled up at her.  
"I love you Sandy. I wish you would come back. I really need you know.   
I know you can get better."  
She clutched his hand harder. Conner stared at her in. The last time   
she had acknowledged anybody was when she had said his name a long time   
ago.  
"I love you," he said softly. Believe."  
Sandy looked at him and then said. "Thank You." Then her eyes glazed   
over and Conner knew that she was gone again.  
  
Conner and Monique sat together quietly eating.   
"This is good Mon," he said putting a forkful of chicken into his   
mouth.  
"Thanks," she beamed. "It's a new recipe."  
Conner nodded and then lapsed into silence. "Mon, there's something I   
want to talk to you about."  
"What? Are you okay?" she asked concerned.  
"Yeah," Conner assured her. "I'm fine. I just want to know, where do   
you think this is going? Our relationship?"  
"What?" she asked confused.  
"You know," Conner trailed off. Sure he liked Monique but he couldn't   
picture himself with her ten or twenty years from now.  
"We're happy," she said slowly. "And I think there is definite progress   
being made in the foreword direction."  
Conner sighed. "I like you a lot Mon and I don't want to hurt you   
later."  
Her face got pink. "Are you...are you breaking up with me?"  
Conner couldn't look at her. He finally realized that breaking up was   
the right thing to do for both of them. "I think it would be best for   
us," he said lamely.  
"How do you know what's best for me?" she sobbed. "What's best for me   
is being with you!"  
"You might think that now, but how about in the future."  
"I don't care about the stupid future!" she wailed.  
"You will," he said looking at her. "I care about you but I don't think   
we're right for each other."  
"And she is?" Monique glared at him. "Elizabeth. That's what's this is   
about!"  
"Well, in a way," Conner admitted. "I still have feelings for her. But   
it's also about us."  
"But we were happy," she insisted.  
Conner sighed. This was harder than he thought. What would he have to   
do to get her to understand? Give her a one way ticket to Maine?  
"I thought we were going to get married," she added.  
"What made you think that?" Conner asked shocked.  
"We've been going out for a while," she pointed out. "And we both have   
good jobs and you have this nice house..."  
"Back up," Conner said raising his hands. "I really like you but I'm   
not sure I'm ready for that. And not with you."  
Monique looked crestfallen. She pushed her chair back. "I thought that   
you would never hurt me," she said softly and walked out of the house.  
Conner sat slumped in his chair. He had hurt her. And he wasn't feeling   
so terrific himself. But he had done the right thing, hadn't he?  
And who knew that Elizabeth would take him back? He had hurt her pretty   
bad as well. he would have to do something to show that he cared.  
Conner suddenly had an idea. He grabbed his portable phone from the   
counter and pressed the speed dial.  
"Hey, is that you McDermott?" his agent Tim Walker asked. "I was just   
gonna call you."  
"What for?" Conner said interested and forgetting for a moment why he   
had called.  
"You've been nominated for two Grammy's!"  
"What?" Conner said shocked. "You're joking, right?"  
"This is for real," Tim insisted. "You're up for best new artist and   
song of the year for 'Torn Apart'. Congratulations."  
"Wow," Conner said. "That's great...I mean...wow."  
Tim laughed. "They also wanted you to present, but I told them that's   
not really you're style."  
"Thanks," Conner said gratefully. I just can't picture myself saying   
sappy lines like 'the winner is...' and shedding fake tears for some guys   
I don't even know or like."  
"Yeah, I know," Tim said with laughter in his voice. "They did invite   
you to perform though-"  
"No," Conner cut him off. "You know that I don't really enjoy   
performing in public."  
"But it's an honor," Tim insisted. "And you never perform live."  
"Yes I did," Conner argued. "I did a song for the benefit concert."  
"And you should do a few talk shows," Tim went on.  
"That's why I called."  
"What?" Tim said shocked. "I never thought you would agree to."  
"I want to do leno. He's invited me, right?"  
"Yeah," Tim said. "Just last week. You can be on on Friday."  
"Good, the sooner the better. And I'll sing a song too."  
"Great!" Tim said enthusiastically. "'Torn Apart'? 'Old Jimi Hendrix'?"  
"A new one," Conner said. "Actually a new old one."  
"Huh?"  
"Never mind," Conner sighed. "Just get me on the show."  
He hung up the phone. He needed to get her back. And Jay leno was the   
way to do it.


	15. I Want to be Alone

Jessica stared out the window of the bus. The past few days had been   
miserable. Jeremy was out of her life and Ryan was keeping his distance.   
She never realized how much she cared and depended on Ryan until he was   
gone. She couldn't believe she had screwed up so badly. In college she   
had a reputation as a flirt but that had all changed when she had   
stared to date Ryan. After they got together she had never even considered   
going out with another guy. But she had never thought that Jeremy would   
come back into her life either. But Jessica had to admit that Jeremy   
had changed. He seemed to date a girl for a week then move on. What had   
happened to her sweet, thoughtful, considerate Jeremy from high school?   
Had he changed when she started dating Melissa?  
The bus stopped in front of Jeremy's apartment. When she had broken up   
with him she never thought that she would come back here. But she   
wanted to talk to Jeremy. Tell him she still cared and wanted to be his   
friend. She slowly climbed up to his apartment and opened the door. As she   
walked in, she didn't see any signs of him. She heard a moan from his   
bedroom and she went in through the slightly open door.  
She gasped when she saw what was happening. Jeremy was in his bed with   
a dark hair girl. "Jeremy?" she choked out and fled the apartment in   
tears.  
Jeremy got up and followed her into the hall.  
"Jess, what's wrong? I thought we were cool."  
Jessica stared at him. "I know we're over but it still hurts."  
"Jessica, you're a great girl but we were just having fun. Melissa's   
my-"  
"That was Melissa?" Jessica shrieked.  
Jeremy nodded. "She found me last week. And she doesn't have a   
boyfriend." Jeremy turned around and left Jessica standing there crying.  
  
"What?" Lila exclaimed. "With Melissa?"  
Jessica nodded miserably. "Can you believe it? Only five days after we   
broke up!"  
Lila shook her head. "What a jerk. And you haven't heard from Ryan   
either?"  
Jessica shook her head. "I miss him so much, Li. I should never have   
fooled around with Jeremy."  
Lila stared sympathetically at her friend who was sitting on her bed.   
"Maybe Ryan will change his mind," she said hopefully.  
"I doubt it after what I did to him. I messed up pretty badly."  
"You guys have been dating for a while it would be a shame for it to   
end," Lila said rummaging through her closet.  
"Yeah," Jessica sighed. "Hey, Li, wanna go to a movie or something?"  
"Todd's coming over," Lila said as she emerged from her closet wearing   
a black lace dress.  
Jessica whistled at her friend. "You look awesome Lila!"  
Lila adjusted the neckline. "Are you sure it's not too much?"  
Jessica gave Lila a look. Lila liked things over top. "Come on, Lila.   
Todd is going to drool."  
"He is, isn't he?" Lila said softly examining herself in her three-way   
mirror. "But it's a little too much for pizza." Lila reemerged wearing   
a white miniskirt and a orange off the shoulder top. Jessica couldn't   
help but notice how happy her friend was. A far cry from how Jessica was   
feeling. Jessica choked back a sob.  
Lila turned around and stared intently at her friend. She sat down next   
to Jessica on the bed and put her arm around her. "Are you gonna be   
okay, Jess?"  
Jessica sniffled. "I don't know…maybe…"  
Lila was at a loss for words. True she herself had been in love before.   
There was Beauregard Creighton from summer camp, Bruce Patman in   
college and now Todd Wilkins. In high school if anyone had told her that she   
would be dating Todd Wilkins, she would have laughed. If they had told   
her she would have been engaged to him, well, she would probably have   
committed them. Todd was always the cute but dull boyfriend of boring   
Elizabeth Wakefield.  
But the summer between sophomore and junior year of college Todd   
changed. Or Lila, she really wasn't sure. That summer on vacation in Hawaii   
she had run into Todd. He had never looked better and Lila discovered   
that he was not so boring anymore. Interested in taking over his father's   
multi million-dollar company Lila saw a man just like she had always   
dreamed of. But it was more than the shared interest in success. Within a   
few weeks Todd had swept Lila off her feet.  
After college Todd had taken over his father's company and merged it   
with another company forming of the largest corporation in the state. And   
now they were engaged and Lila couldn't be happier.  
She turned her thoughts back to Jessica. Lila knew Jessica was a mess   
and she really didn't have any idea how to help her. "Things will be   
okay," she said weakly.  
"What if they're not?" Jessica sobbed.  
Lila stroked her hair. "Then you will find your self and move on,   
Jessica. You're strong. And Ryan will come back."  
"What if he doesn't?"  
Lila was at a loss of words when suddenly the doorbell rang. Happy for   
a diversion Lila walked downstairs and answered it. Todd stood there   
looking just as gorgeous as always Lila noted.  
He stepped inside and gave her a long, lingering kiss.  
Lila grinned up and him. "Hey you." She observed how nicely her curves   
fit with his body.  
"Let's go upstairs," she said tugging on his arm.  
Todd raised his eyebrows and tickled her. Lila giggled and they   
stumbled into her room.  
"Hey Jess," Todd said surprised when he saw Jessica sitting there.  
"Todd," she said acknowledging him gloomily.  
"Jessica," Lila said brightly. "Why don't you come with us?"  
Todd kicked Lila. Jessica didn't seem to be very good company tonight.  
Thankfully, Jessica shook her head. "No thanks, I'd like to be alone."  
Lila nodded, concerned. For once she didn't have a clue of what to do.   
"I'm gonna go get my makeup on," she said to Todd.  
Todd stood there awkwardly not really sure what to say to Jessica.  
"You really like her," Jessica said breaking the silence.  
"Lila?" he said surprised. "Yeah, she's the greatest. She has great   
energy and passion."  
Jessica smiled weakly. "I guess the fact that she's pretty doesn't   
hurt."  
Todd laughed. "Of course not!"  
Jessica nodded. Lila soon rejoined them and wrapped her arms around   
Todd. They were so wrapped up in each other they forgot Jessica was there.   
When Todd's hands moved up her shirt, Jessica cleared her throat. "As   
much as I hate to miss this, I really should be going."  
Because being around Lila and Todd made her jealous because they had   
something that she didn't have.  
  
Conner stood backstage nervously. Conner wasn't used to being nervous   
but he had never done an interview on television before. He had hardly   
heard Jay Leno's monologue. He only was appearing on the show because of   
Elizabeth. Elizabeth refused to admit it, but she had a tiny obsession   
over the Leno show. Every night she stayed up till twelve thirty to   
watch it. She never, ever missed it. So he knew she would be watching.  
Suddenly he heard Jay say, "Our next guest is multi-platinum singer and   
songwriter who is currently up for two Grammy's. Please welcome Conner   
McDermott!"  
Conner walked onto stage and the audience screamed and applauded. The   
interview progressed fairly smoothly. Jay didn't ask any personal   
questions to Conner's relief. They chatted about his album, the Grammy's,   
dream collaborators. Finally Jay said, "Conner is going to play a song for   
us now. Tell us what we're going to hear."  
This was it. "Well," he stared. "I wrote this back in high school for   
this girl I really loved and I want her to know I still love her."  
Conner grabbed his guitar.  
  
Elizabeth was having a bad day. After getting yelled at work and having   
some jerk almost crash her car, she just wanted to fall into bed. But   
she flipped on the television to see that last of Jay Leno. Usually   
Elizabeth watched the entire show but tonight she had been soaking her body   
in the bath.  
Suddenly, Conner McDermott's face filled the screen and he began to   
play.  
  
_You catch a glimpse of her sun-streaked hair  
Flashing across the room  
She's hotter 'n Santa Anna winds,  
Cool as iced perfume_  
  
Elizabeth's heart squeezed. She had tuned out the rest of the words   
that she had long ago memorized of Conner's song for her, 'Stone Heart'.   
Conner still cared about her she knew it now. Conner played the last   
chords and the audience burst into applause.   
Elizabeth burst into tears. 


	16. Extremely Lucky

This story is almost finished! Maybe one or two more chapters after   
this one! I had no idea it would be this long! I hope you have enjoyed it   
and any comments or criticism are appreciated!  
  
Conner paced around his kitchen nervously. Even thought it was one in   
the morning Conner was too wound up to go to be now. He and dashed home   
after the show and was disappointed to see that Elizabeth wasn't there   
or that there weren't any messages on his machine.   
Another crack of thunder boomed through the house and Conner's light   
flickered. He looked out the window and was surprised to see that it had   
started to storm.   
Conner had called Elizabeth's parents for her number but she wasn't   
home. Conner figured that she had either seen the show and was making the   
twenty-minute drive to Los Angeles or she had seen it and was fleeing   
the country.   
Conner quickly reminded himself that he was extremely lucky for even   
getting a second chance with Elizabeth. The stupidest thing he had ever   
done was leaving her back in college and then never writing. He knew the   
only reason Elizabeth had forgiven him was because of what had happened   
to his mother and sister.   
Conner wanted Elizabeth back. Sure it was a shock and a bit of an   
inconvenience when she arrived out of the blue. But as soon as he had gazed   
into her warm, caring blue eyes he knew that they had never lost that   
amazing connection they had once shared. Conner knew that she was in a   
lot of pain and he wanted to help her through it all.   
Suddenly the doorbell rang and Conner ran to answer it. There stood   
Elizabeth Wakefield dressed in a pink sweatshirt and blue pajama pants and   
completely soaked. And Conner thought she was the most beautiful thing   
that he had ever seen. "Liz?" he said hoarsely, gesturing her inside.   
Elizabeth then jumped on him and began kissing him. Conner stumbled back   
in the house surprised and wet. When she pulled back she stared at him   
with shining eyes. "I saw the show."  
"I figured," he said wryly. He led her to the bathroom and gave her   
some towels. A few minutes later they were sitting on the large couch in   
his family room. "Wow, this place is incredible," Liz breathed.  
"Thanks." After a moment he said, "I didn't think you were coming."  
Elizabeth laughed. "You never gave me your address or phone number,   
silly. And obviously you're unlisted. But I had a copy of your CD that   
Jessica lent me and I called your recording studio and got the address of   
your manager. Then I frantically attacked him showing pictures of us   
and my yearbook so he wouldn't think I was some psycho-obsessed fan or   
something."  
Conner stared at her in surprise. "_I'm_ beginning to think you're a   
psycho-obsessed fan," Conner teased.  
Elizabeth looked up at him smiling. "Why did you do that? It's not your   
style at all."  
Conner looked at her. "If you couldn't tell, I'm crazy in love with you   
and love makes you do stupid things."  
Elizabeth looked at him softly. "What about Monique?"  
"Monique is gone," Conner assured her. "I never really loved her. I   
guess I just continued to date her because I knew I could never get too   
close to her."  
"And that's a bad thing?" Elizabeth said quietly.  
"Not if it's with the right person," Conner said placing his hand on   
her face. "I missed you so much, Liz. I should never have closed you out   
of my life like that."  
"I'm glad you went on the show," Elizabeth said snuggling up to him. "I   
was going to leave tomorrow."  
"What?" Conner said alarmed. "Why?"  
"Because," Elizabeth sighed. "Even though Jessica and I made up, we're   
still never going to be really close. I have a horrible job at the   
newspaper. I write those stupid three sentence blurbs on community events   
that are just putting in dates and places. And then I thought I had lost   
you to some slut nurse."  
"Nurse's assistant," Conner corrected and they both laughed.  
They sat there for a moment just looking at each other. "So, Miss   
Wakefield," Conner said putting a finger under her chin and raising it up.   
"Are you going to stay?"  
Elizabeth ran a finger over his chest. "I might need some convincing,   
Mr. McDermott," she said huskily.   
Conner grinned at her and caught her lips in a tender kiss.   
  
"Lila, this has got to be the lamest thing you have ever made me do!"   
Todd groaned.  
Lila placed her hands on her hips, "Todd Wilkins!" she scolded. "If you   
don't help then I won't kiss you until you do!"  
"You'd do that?" Todd said with mock horror.  
"Well…no," Lila admitted. "You know I can't keep my hands off you."  
Todd grinned. "So I don't have to do it?"  
Lila slapped him playfully on the arm. "I'm the boss and you listen to   
me."  
"Yes, ma'am," Todd said laughing. He grabbed her arm and pulled her to   
him and kissed her.  
"You dork," Lila moaned. "Jessica is going to be here any minute."  
"We have a few minutes," Todd said nibbling at her ear.  
A few minutes later the doorbell rang. Lila pulled herself away from   
Todd and straightened her dress as she opened the door. "Jess!" Lila   
exclaimed. "I'm so glad you could come."  
Jessica looked at her confused. "We just saw each other yesterday."  
"I know," Lila said smoothly. "But I got a great new shipment of   
clothes from France that you must see!" Lila led Jessica up to her bedroom.  
Todd stayed downstairs in the den and a few minutes after Jessica   
arrived, the maid escorted in Ryan. "Hey man," Todd said greeting him.  
Upstairs, Jessica was shocked to hear Ryan's voice coming from the   
intercom. Lila smiled slyly. She had left the intercom on for her room and   
the den.  
Jessica listened as Todd and Ryan talked.  
"So how are you doing?" Todd asked.  
"Pretty bad," Ryan admitted. "I know I should be furious at Jessica for   
what she did."  
"She's really messed up," Todd confirmed. "I think she realizes that   
it's you she really wants."  
"I can't just forgive her, though. She cheated on me."  
"I know," Todd said. "I can't even imagine what you're going through.   
But wouldn't it make you happier knowing that you two could work through   
this together?"  
"Yeah," Ryan admitted. "But I don't know if we can work through this."  
Todd cleared his throat.  
Jessica was staring at the intercom, never breaking her gaze.  
"Do you love her?" Jessica heard Todd ask and her heart seemed to stop   
beating as she waited for Ryan's reply.  
Ryan sighed. "Yes," he whispered. "I love her so much. That's why it   
hurts so much."  
Jessica could hardly breathe. She knew that Lila was looking at her   
with knowing eyes.  
She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Finally she said   
hoarsely, "Ryan."  
She flew down the stairs and looked frantically through the rooms. Why   
did Lila's house have to be so big?  
Finally she found Ryan and Todd in the den.  
"Ryan," she said again.  
She saw that Ryan's face was full of pain and hurt. She felt terrible   
knowing that she was the cause of Ryan's distress. Why did I cheat on   
him if I was supposed to love him? She thought guiltily. She had cheated   
on Jeremy. She had cheated on Ken Matthews, on A.J. Morgan, on nearly   
every guy she had been with. She thought back to the one guy that she   
had remained faithful to, Sam Woodruff. Jessica's felt tears well up in   
here eyes, even almost six years after his tragic death.   
After her relationship with Nick Fox had fell apart Jessica had thrown   
herself into several flings. But when she met Ryan, that had changed   
everything. She had been so lonely and so desperate for love that she had   
given her whole self to Ryan. Ryan became her boyfriend, her friend,   
and her brother all rolled into one. In a way, he had replaced the void   
in her heart where Elizabeth had been. Todd glanced at the two of them   
and quietly left the room.   
"Ryan," Jessica said again. "I am so, so sorry. I never meant to hurt   
you."  
"Well you did," Ryan said bitterly.  
"I miss you," she said quietly.  
"Me too," he said gruffly. He sat down on the couch.  
"Jeremy didn't mean anything to me," she said and sat down on his lap   
and gazed into his eyes.   
"I know," he said touching her hair.  
Jessica placed her hands on shoulders. "You're the one I want," she   
whispered. "The only guy I love."  
Ryan smiled at her. "I know that, Jessie."  
Jessica leaned in and kissed him. But Ryan quickly pulled back. "No,   
Jessica." He stood up and pushed her away. "It's too soon."  
Jessica felt tears form in here eyes. "What do I have to do?" she said   
quietly.  
"Just give me some more time," he said without looking at her.


	17. I Want You to be Happy

"Stop that," Elizabeth said breathlessly, as Conner placed his hands   
around her waist and began kissing her neck.  
"Make me," he said moving his hands up and down her waist. Elizabeth   
grabbed a spatula with her free hand and smacked it against his arm.  
"Hey!" Conner protested. "What was that for!"  
"You need to stop distracting me or I'm going to burn your lasagna. So   
sit down!" Elizabeth ordered playfully.  
Conner sat down on the countertop. "Thanks for coming over."  
"No problem," she grinned. "I love lasagna."  
"In case you haven't noticed, I can't cook," Conner confessed.  
"Yeah, I realized that in college when you tried to make me eggs and   
set them on fire."  
"It wasn't that bad," Conner said.  
"Conner!" Elizabeth giggled. "You tried to put them in the toaster!   
They had to evacuate my entire dorm floor!"  
Conner gave her a dirty look then laughed himself. "I guess I was lucky   
then, having a girlfriend who could cook."  
Elizabeth opened the fridge and pulled out a head of lettuce. "Conner?"  
"What?"  
"Uh…nothing." Elizabeth smiled up at him.  
"Hey, Liz. I was thinking maybe we could go boating tomorrow." Conner   
said putting a tomato in his mouth from the salad Elizabeth was making.  
"Oh, sure," she said. "That would be fun."  
They lapsed into silence. "Conner?" Elizabeth repeated.  
"Yeah, Liz?"  
"Uh…um…you're out of carrots," she said weakly.  
"Liz," Conner said confused. "There's a whole bag right in front of   
you."  
"Right," Elizabeth said sheepishly. "I guess I'm a little out of it."  
"I think you're more than a little out of it," Conner said wryly.   
"What's up?"  
"Remember when I said I hated my job?" Conner nodded. "Well, yesterday   
I was offered a position to be a features writer for the New Yorker."  
"Wow!" Conner said getting up and engulfing her in a hug. "That's   
fantastic!"  
"Yeah," she blushed. "Before I came here I used to for the Boston   
Herald so that's how I was able to get the job."  
"We need to celebrate!" Conner said.  
"I'm glad you're so happy," Elizabeth said. "But I'm going to have to   
move to New York."  
Conner was silent a minute. "Cool, when do we leave?"  
"We?" Elizabeth said raising her eyebrows. "I can't ask you to come and   
give up your career."  
"How can you not ask me to come?" he said hurt. "A lot of big music   
stars live in New York. Bruce Springsteen lives there," Conner pointed   
out.  
"You're a Springsteen fan?"  
"No!" Conner exclaimed. "That's not the point. My record company has a   
branch in New York and one of the best recording studios in the   
country! I would hardly be throwing my career away."  
"What about Megan?" Elizabeth challenged.  
Conner was silent for a minute and she knew she had gotten him. "Megan   
can be transferred," he said slowly. "I'm sure there are center's down   
there."  
"Oh," Elizabeth said quietly.  
"Don't you want me to go?" Conner asked touching her hair.  
"That's not it," Elizabeth said choking back tears. "I just want you to   
be happy."  
"If I'm with you, then I will be happy," Conner said tenderly.  
Elizabeth looked at him surprised. "Come on, help me make this salad   
before you turn into a bigger sap."  
Conner grabbed a knife and started slicing cucumbers. "See what you've   
turned me into, Elizabeth Wakefield!"  
Elizabeth smiled. She couldn't remember the last time that she had been   
so happy. As she and Conner worked on making the salad she remembered.   
She remembered that she was going to have to tell Jessica.  
  
"Thanks for hanging with me," Jessica said as they sat on her porch   
swing. "I think Lila is sick of me."  
"I don't mind," Elizabeth said smiling. "Anyway, this is what sisters   
are here for. To comfort you and to tell you everything will be okay."  
"See, Lila wasn't much comfort," Jessica explained. "Your miserable,   
I'm miserable so we can be miserable together."  
"Yeah," Elizabeth said nonchalantly. There was no reason for Jessica to   
know that she was ecstatic. Turn cartwheels and run down the street   
happy.  
Jessica looked at her twin intently. "Wait a minute…flushed cheeks,   
sparkling in eyes…Elizabeth Wakefield, you're in love!" Jessica accused.  
"Uh, no?" Elizabeth lied.  
"Tell me who it is!" Jessica commanded. "Tell me the name of this huge   
jerk who is going to leave the first time you do something stupid."  
"Conner," Elizabeth squeaked.  
"Conner McDermott? The Conner McDermott?"  
Elizabeth nodded. "Yeah, it happened a few nights ago."  
Jessica sighed. "It's not fair! Both you and Lila have these   
millionaire boyfriends and are so happy it's sick! And what do I have? Nothing!"  
Elizabeth placed an arm around her twin. "Jessica, you'll find   
someone."  
"No I won't!" Jessica wailed. "That was my last chance! Now I'm an old   
maid."  
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "This was getting out of hand. "Jessica,   
you're twenty-two years old! That's hardly old. And you'll get a second   
chance. Look at Mom. She was going to marry Hank Patman but she still   
found love with our dad after the wedding was called off."  
"Maybe I don't have to find someone new!" Jessica said brightly. "I   
mean look at you and Conner! You guys got back together after all those   
years!"  
"But Jessica," Elizabeth said. "That doesn't happen to everyone."  
Jessica sighed and was quiet for a minute. Elizabeth cleared her   
throat. She was going to have to tell Jessica even though it was probably the   
worst time in the world to do so. But she was leaving in five days and   
Jessica needed to know.  
"Uh, Jessica? There's something I have to talk to you about," Elizabeth   
said carefully.  
"Sure, what's up?"  
Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak but she noticed Jessica was staring   
at something. Elizabeth squinted through the night air and saw that   
Ryan was standing there.  
Ryan and Jessica were just staring at each other, not saying a word.   
Elizabeth cleared her throat. "I should go. Jessica call me."  
Jessica nodded vaguely and Elizabeth knew that she was going to have to   
call her sister.   
  
"Ryan," Jessica said finally.  
"Jessica," Ryan said sitting next to her. "We need to talk. About us.   
You and me."  
Jessica nodded "Let's go inside." Once they were seated on the couch,   
Jessica said, "Ryan this has been so hard! I miss you so much."  
"I've missed you too. I never knew how big of a part you played in my   
life until you were gone."  
"It's like I can't breathe," Jessica said softly. "I really screwed   
things up for us."  
"It's not a hundred percent your fault. I guess I must have been doing   
something-"  
"Don't say that!" Jessica interrupted. "You didn't do anything. I was   
just be selfish and naïve and so stupid!"  
"I thought it was a like a romantic fairy tale between you two," Ryan   
said bitterly.  
"At first," Jessica agreed. "But at the end he was ignoring me and   
paying attention to other women."  
"That must have bugged you," Ryan chuckled.  
"Totally," Jessica agreed. "I hated the person I was becoming around   
him, all weak and dependent."  
"I can see why you wanted him," Ryan sneered.  
"If you had known him in high school," Jessica told Ryan. "He was like   
you are now. Sweet, considerate, thoughtful…"  
"Hot," Ryan supplied. "Funny, forgiving, helpful."  
"Yeah," Jessica said nodding. "Wait, forgiving?"  
Jessica looked at Ryan and saw the spark in his eyes. "You mean?"  
Ryan nodded. "Yeah, I decided to forgive you, Jess. Turns out I'm   
miserable without you."  
"Me too," Jessica said. "This past week has been awful. Let's never go   
through something like that again."  
"I hop not," Ryan said. "But just because I have forgiven you doesn't   
mean things are going to be normal again. It'll take me a while before I   
can completely trust you again. And I think that maybe we shouldn't   
spend so much time together at first."  
Jessica sat there I quietly. "I'm sorry that you can't trust me   
anymore."  
"I thought maybe we can go out to dinner tomorrow night."  
"I'd like that," Jessica said her eyes shining. "You know the only   
thing that makes fighting fun is making up."  
"You have a weird idea of fun, Jessica," Ryan said laughing.  
"Come on," Jessica said slyly. "You know you want me to kiss you."  
Before Ryan could protest, Jessica's lips had caught his in a searing   
kiss.  
"I'm beginning to have fun now," Ryan said pulling back.  
Ryna ran his hands over her body and Jessica shivered. "What are you   
doing?" she breathed.  
"I can't stand the fact that Jeremy touched you and I'm trying to make   
you forget about him."  
"That won't be hard," Jessica said leaning in for another searing kiss.  
"I love you Jessica," Ryan said between kisses.  
  
Ryan walked into the kitchen that morning to find Jessica mixing up   
pancake batter. "Who are you and what have you done with Jessica?" he   
joked.  
"What? Haven't you ever seen me in the kitchen before?"  
Ryan pretended to think about it. "Senior year you tried to make me   
steak but we got, uh, busy and it burned."  
"If I remember correctly that was your fault," Jessica said wrapping   
her arms around his neck."  
"Yours," he corrected. "What kind of psycho tries to cook in a bikini?"  
"Obviously someone dangerous," Jessica purred.  
"Homicidal," Ryan whispered. "It was my civil duty to protect you."  
"Stop," Jessica said giggling. "I have to see if the griddle is hot."  
Ryan placed his mouth on hers. "Not hot enough yet but it looks like   
things are starting to sizzle!"  
"So what do you do to girls who try to cook in sundresses?" Jessica   
cooed.  
"I let them make me breakfast!" Ryan joked as Jessica pretended to be   
offended.  
As Jessica poured the batter onto the griddle she remembered that she   
was supposed to call Liz.  
"Elizabeth is going to be so mad," Jessica said grabbing the phone. "I   
was supposed to call her last night. She had something important to   
tell me."  
"She's not going to be mad Jess," Ryan said rolling his eyes. She's   
used to your scatterbrained mind. Plus it probably isn't even that   
important."  
"You're probably right," Jessica agreed.


	18. Sisters

"I can't tell her!" Elizabeth wailed.  
"Yes you can," Conner insisted. They were sitting together on the   
couch.   
"I can't hurt her again."  
"But if you stay you'll be hurting yourself," Conner said wrapping his   
arm around her.  
Elizabeth stared at him. "Did you just give me advice?"  
"Yeah, cause I'm better and wiser than you," Conner said matter of   
factly.  
"You wish," Elizabeth said poking at his side. "I just don't want to   
hurt her, Conner. We have a long way to go before we'll be completely   
comfortable around one another. I won't be helping if I move across the   
country."  
"You guys can write and call," Conner pointed out. "It's not like   
you're going to leave mad at each other."  
"That's true," Elizabeth agreed. "She's coming over in an hour and I'll   
make her understand that this is the best thing for me."  
"So when are we leaving?" Conner said changing the subject.  
"My job starts on Monday so I wanted to leave on Tuesday which is   
tomorrow so I can get there early enough to start unpacking. Have you found   
an apartment?"  
"Yeah, I got a townhouse in the Bronx."  
"I got a place in Manhattan," Elizabeth said. "Are you all packed?"  
"Well, most of the furniture I'm leaving here," Conner explained.  
"You're not selling the house?" Elizabeth said surprised.  
"No, because we'll need a place to stay when we come back and it's not   
like I don't have the money."  
"Wow," Elizabeth said smiling at him. She took his hand and squeezed   
it. "Are you sure you want to come?"  
"Yes, Elizabeth. You keep asking me that. Don't you want me to come?"  
"I do want you to come. So much," Elizabeth said looking at him. "I   
just don't want to change your life so that if anything happened to us   
then your life wouldn't be changed to much."  
Conner let go of her hand. "What you think I'm going to leave again?"  
"No," Elizabeth said squirming and Conner knew that she wasn't   
completely honest.  
"Listen, I screwed up back in college. But I was twenty years old. I've   
changed a lot Liz. Everything with my mom and Megan really helped me   
realize how important commitment is. Now I can't promise you that we'll   
wind up retired together playing bridge. But I do know that I won't   
leave you without an explanation or some sort of warning."  
"Really?" Elizabeth said smiling.  
"I'll have a billboard put up in Times Square," Conner said laughing.  
Elizabeth snuggled up to him. "Thanks. Plus I do know that you've   
changed. All I meant was that I don't want you going anywhere."  
"I won't be anytime soon."  
"You mean you won't leave me for a slut nurse?" she said slyly.  
"Nurse assistant," Conner corrected and she laughed. "Nah, I kind of   
get turned on by sexy journalists."  
Elizabeth pretended to be offended, "And all this time I though you   
liked me for my mind."  
"I didn't know you had one of those," Conner kidded.  
"So what are you going to do when we get to New York?" Liz asked.  
"I'm not sure," Conner said thinking about it. "It's been about a year   
since I did my last album and I guess I'll start writing new songs and   
stuff."  
"What inspires you?" Elizabeth asked softly.  
"Well my last album was mostly about changes and having to face new   
things. There was also some stuff about my mom's death. I already have one   
song for my new album called _Visions and Virtues_ which is what I want   
to name the album."  
"That's great," Elizabeth said. "I hope I'll be able to inspire you,"   
she said coyly.   
"You already are," Conner said laughing. "Every time I kiss you I feel   
this surge of creative energy."  
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. "Really? I'd hate to do more than that   
because then you might explode from all that creative energy."  
"I don't think that's going to be a problem," Conner said gazing at her   
intently. He moved his hands down to the small of her back and pulled   
her close.  
He gave her a deep kiss. "Any doubts that I'm going to leave?" he   
whispered.  
"I might need some more convincing," Elizabeth said mischievously.  
"Don't you trust me?" he said in mock indignation.  
"I trust you," Elizabeth said. "So much that if you told me to jump off   
a bridge, I would do it."  
"Actually, don't trust me that much," he said laughing.  
"I was just being nice so that you would kiss me again," she said.  
Conner chuckled and began to kiss her neck. Elizabeth ran her hands   
through his hair. She fell back onto the big pillows on the end of the   
couch and Conner positioned himself sideways next to her. Conner began to   
run his fingers through her hair. "You know I love you, right?"  
Elizabeth nodded. "I had my doubts, especially with Monique hanging at   
your side."  
"She meant nothing to me," Conner said smiling at her.  
"She had to mean something or else you guys wouldn't have stayed   
together."  
"Trust me, when you have to be around her, you learn to tune her out."  
Elizabeth giggled. "Did she like you?"  
"Probably but it wasn't real deep. I think she just liked being with   
someone famous."  
"And she had the nerve to call me a groupie!" Elizabeth said laughing.  
"She was a groupie," Conner said. "She was into the whole rock star   
scene."  
"Did she want to be a singer?" Elizabeth asked.  
"No, her voice sounded like gravel. I think she wanted to be a dancer."  
They were both quiet for a few minutes and just lay there enjoying the   
warmth and closeness of each other.   
Elizabeth leaned over and began kissing him. Conner's arms tightened   
around her waist.  
After the pulled back, Conner began to run his fingers idly through her   
hair. "You know," she said. "We've broken up so many times, first when   
you found out I knew about your mother's drinking problem, then for   
Alanna, then Alanna again, and then you left…" Elizabeth trailed off.  
Conner placed a finger to her lips. "But we've always ended up getting   
back together," Conner pointed out. "Doesn't that mean something?"  
"That we're stupid for not getting it right to first time?"  
"Absolutely," Conner agreed.   
"Hey, Conner! Get your hands off my sister!"  
Elizabeth and Conner sat up surprised.  
Jessica stood there grinning. "How long were you guys going to moon   
over each other before you realized that you had company?"  
"How'd you get in?" Elizabeth asked Jessica.  
"The housekeeper let me in," she explained. "And see," she said   
pointing to the clock on the mantelpiece. "I'm even early."  
"That's great, Jess," Elizabeth said. She gave Conner a look and he   
immediately stood up.  
"It's nice seeing you Jessica, but I have to go in the other room to do   
the thing," Conner said stammering.  
Jessica gave him a weird look, "Is he okay?"  
"He's fine Jess. Listen, I'm really glad you came."  
Jessica sat down on a chair. "What's going on? I'm getting nervous here   
like you're going to tell me something big."  
"I'm really glad I came back," Elizabeth said smiling. "I missed you   
and I'm so glad that we're starting to work things out."  
"Me too," Jessica said returning the smile.   
"Jessica, I'm moving to New York tomorrow," Elizabeth rushed out.   
Jessica sat there frozen in shock. "Why?" she choked out.  
"I got a really great job offer for the New York Times," Elizabeth   
explained.  
"But you already have a job!" Jessica protested.  
"But it's terrible!" Elizabeth shuffled through the newspaper and   
handed Jessica a section and pointed, "Read."  
"'The Los Angeles Women's Club will meet this Thursday at St. Helen's   
parish center at 4:30. New members please contact Mary Rose at…'"   
Jessica was quiet for a minute. "This is good, Liz! I could tell write off   
that you wrote it, it has that special Liz touch!" Jessica lied.  
"Jessica!" Elizabeth said exasperated. "Anyone even a five-year-old   
could write that.'  
"Why can't you get a job out here, there are other newspapers."  
"Because there are no jobs out here. Believe me, I've looked. I don't   
want to move, but I don't have another choice!"  
"Yes you do!" Jessica insisted. "Your boyfriend is like a   
gazillionaire. Force Conner to marry you!"  
There was a couching sound from the other room and Elizabeth blushed.   
"Jessica, we just got back together, what are you insane?"  
"No," Jessica said tears forming in here eyes. "If he really loved you   
then he would ask you." Then she burst into tears. Elizabeth got up   
from the couch and sat down next to her sister and wrapped her arms around   
her.   
"I just got you back, why do you have to go?" Jessica wailed.  
"I know, I don't want to go, but you know that this is the best thing   
for me. If there's a job opening here I'll be on the first plane back."  
"What does Conner say about you leaving? You guys just got back   
together."  
"He's coming with me, he can still have a career in New York."  
"He's following you?" Jessica said in disbelief.  
"No, he's joining me," she corrected.  
"You know," Jessica said thoughtfully. "I could always come out too.   
There's the theater and everything."  
"I though you were happy out here," Elizabeth asked. "And you always   
wanted to be a movie star, Jess. Plus what about Ryan?"  
"You're right," Jessica said softly. "I just don't want you to go. Plus   
I really can't. I just got an offer to be on Days of Our Lives."  
"Jessica, that's fantastic!" Elizabeth said smiling.  
"Yeah," Jessica said.  
"I'll watch you everyday," Elizabeth promised.  
"But you hate soaps."  
"I do. But I don't hate you," Elizabeth said taking Jessica's hand.   
"Who do you play?"  
"I play Harmony Hart and she's an intern at the hospital."  
"I'm so proud of you Jess," Elizabeth said squeezing her hand.  
"When do you leave?" Jessica asked her.  
"Tomorrow."  
"Tomorrow!" Jessica cried. "That's way to soon!"  
"I know, but I don't have much of a choice."  
"I'll come see you off," Jessica said.  
"Our plane leaves at five in the morning."  
"Five!" Jessica bit her lip.  
"It's okay, you don't have to come Jess."  
"Thanks!" Jessica said laughing. "You know how I am in the morning."  
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Of course I do, I don't want you anywhere   
near a car at that hour."  
Jessica gave here sister and hug. "I'm going to miss you. You have to   
promise to call everyday."  
"Everyday," Elizabeth promised.   
"And write three times a day."  
"Anything."  
The twins sat there like that for several minutes just hugging each   
other.  
"I hate to say this, but I have to go. I have the play tonight."  
"I know, Conner and I are going."  
"Thanks," Jessica said softly. "I don't know what to say."  
"How about I love you?" Elizabeth said.  
"I love you," Jessica said crying.  
"I know, I do too!" Elizabeth said also crying.  
"When am I going to see you again?" Jessica said, her face buried in   
Elizabeth's shoulder.  
"I'll come out for Christmas and Thanksgiving," Elizabeth promised.  
"Really?"  
"Yes, and you can come see me."  
"Yeah, New York does have great shopping!" Jessica said choking back a   
sob.  
"I'll miss you Jess. Just make sure to stay out of trouble while I'm   
gone."  
"I promise," Jessica said. Then she and Elizabeth burst out laughing.  
  
"Come on, Liz. We're going to miss the flight," Conner said lightly   
resting a hand on her shoulder.  
Elizabeth was gazing out the window that overlooked Sweet Valley. "It's   
so pretty," she whispered. "It'll always be home to me."  
She turned around and faced him. "I love you."  
"I love you," Conner said kissing her. "But we have to go."  
"Remember when we left to go to college?" she said as they walked onto   
the plane. "Jessica and I could hardly stand to look at each other."   
"But you guys are friends."  
"No, we're more than that," Elizabeth said smiling up at him. "We're   
sisters."  
  
That's the end! I don't have any plans to write a fifth part to the   
series. But loo for new stories by me and please review.


End file.
